- HEADLINES: ObliviousBob Surprise Birthday Party!
- EDITORIAL “Survival of the Fittest.”
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade Run
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade
- PvP Drill archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html 19th Mass PvP Event - Let the Joes hit the Floor
- DOMESTIC Belgian Guy gets kicked.
- ORDERS: *
CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.
^HEADLINES
EDITORIAL
TRADE
DRILLS
DOMESTIC
ORDERS
ASPERMONT W.L.- In an extraordinary stroke of luck, the UTC gave ObliviousBob a present of appreciation for all the times he served. The present was a Simoon’s Song, his favorite weapon. Bob then revealed it was his birthday to which we never knew it was. Many whores were ordered by Irishkaiser whom Bob proceeded to test his Simoon Song on.
Irishkaiser - I was asked by a question from my new favorite NIECE: little Marjolein. Now to fulfill my repressed sexual fetish of being a father figure(yes, my middle name is Insanity), naturally I always wanted to be a good role model and a fount of wisdom for my pupil so I tackled it head on.
Marjolein asked, if I agreed with the slogan of “Survival of the Fittest” which many people use as a defense sometimes to justify being an asshole. I simply told Marjolein that within context, yes - but it is the most cooperative who are the most fit to survive.
Teamwork and cooperation in our level has made us build wonders and forge epics.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
3 Chain Sets
4 Iron Swords
2 Infinity Bows
In exchange for
20 Health Potions
A Trade run conducted by a European majority on the US Servers. Little Marjolein’s first trade run as well, which I wouldn’t miss for the world. Lieutenant_Joe came too and stuff. Missing served as a scout before Martin came into service to replace him. Not much fights were encountered but when Marjolein was alone, separated at one point - she defended herself well against a premium assailant. Killed her first premium on her first trade run, made me proud.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
2 Rocksteadys
In exchange for
1 Ipse’s Folly
1 Corsair’s Edge
Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Indianapolis Indiana.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Half dura Diamond Sword
In exchange for
5 health Potions
And Columbus is the Capital of Ohio..!
Team Cleric:
GunOverdose
TheCerealKill3r
Lieutenant_Joe
Versus
Team Vicar
Missingyes
Hotcock007
Irishkaiser
-
Round 1
The two teams started off in Yongton Abbey with Team Vicar being led by Hotcock007. Hotcock suggested Team Vicar seize the abbey itself to maintain a crutch in the central part of the map. A long moment of eerie silence as Team Cleric attempted to camp on the Southwestern side of Yongton while Team Vicar monitored their movements. The silence was broken when a shootout between Missing and Gun started and the two teams were engaged in a duel with Team Vicar using the hallway as a chokepoint. Missing being the terrible shot he was kept taking it up the ass more than he was dishing it and his only match was Lieutenant_Joe where the match looked like a pathetic slugfest of two ducks beating each other with fake rubber chickens.
Hotcock spotted Cereal trying to flank around and ordered a general assault through the windows. This proved to be their undoing as Cereal’s superior FPS outmatched Hotcock’s superior connection. Irishkaiser was noted to fight like an asthmatic old man who always hit where Cereal was 4 seconds ago. The two were killed by Cereal and Missing was killed by GunOverdose making the Clerics winner of the round.
Round 2
Switching sides, Lieutenant_Joe was rambling again and for this, Irishkaiser swore to kill him because that bastard wouldn’t stop being a bastard. Before God he swore that creed that he will end him and free the UTC skype chat from unnecessary ramblings about which coffee taste better. Team Vicar had Missing lead this round and Team Vicar assaulted through the Yongton Graveyard. Missing proved to be indecisive, nervous and actually very new to leading under combat(PvE MineZ 2), making Hotcock and Irish suggest plans that overridden each others' previous ones. Irishkaiser kept true to his word and body slammed Joe to a tree while playing “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor”, causing Joe’s organs to splatter on the inside, killing him instantly.
The teams regrouped inside the church as per suggestion of Irishkaiser, but was scattered for a short while. Hotcock and Missing had a shootout but Cereal and Gun’s fire proved to be too much for this 2v1(missing’s inexperience betrayed him as a non-threat). Irishkaiser’s attempted recovery of Joe’s items for a fight was a little late because Hotcock had been eliminated and Missing was holding out just barely. Irishkaiser arrived a bit late and started firing grenades at the enemy but only just before Missing was killed. A short, laggy swordfight was had inside the altar where Irishkaiser was killed by the survivors of Team Cleric.
Round 3
Teleporting to Arbreton Bridge, the teams started off with Irishkaiser taking lead of Team Vicar. Both sides, not listening/forgetting Irishkaiser’s rules that the 3rd round is a general charge was met with general volley of insults by the asthmatic maniac which is common in any UTC operation.The two sides eventually advanced and the better experience of Team Cleric in general compared to Team Vicar soon proved to show itself - even Joe who had more training than Missing seemed to be scoring some hits(more so than Missing anyway). Unfortunately, Joe still unable to fight or coordinate properly in a team was murdered by his own team members in a melee. Irishkaiser put up tenacious resistance and fighting retreat while Hotcock got away brilliantly. The two regrouped to face off Team Cleric on the bridge. A very bitching fight was conducted at the Bridge where Irishkaiser and Hotcock was killed shortly after by Cereal and GunOverdose respectively. Team Cleric wins all three, but was described by Cereal as “being carried heavily”.
Team Vicar’s Missingyes needs to improve heavily, especially on leading and fighting.
Hackers gonna hack.
1) Trade Run completed. SOP.
2) Next Trade Run is MoldZ.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH