- HEADLINES: Banjo Week Ball
- EDITORIAL “IRISHKAISER’S ADVICE FOR COLLEGE FRESHMEN”
- TRADE US MineZ Trade Run
- TRADE US MineZ Trade
- PvP Drill 32nd Mass PvP Event - Banjo Week
- DOMESTIC Gun becomes Directory Member
- DOMESTIC Buttons Added to Merchandise
- DOMESTIC UTC Trade Runs moved to Saturday Afternoon, EST.
- ORDERS: *
CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.
ASPERMONT, W.L.- The Merchant’s City was alight with festivities and fireworks last Saturday/Sunday as the Company converged to celebrate its 3rd Year Founding, remembering their ancestors who came before them and celebrating the ones who are still here.
Unfortunately, because of late realization that 6PM EST onwards MineZ sucks balls because it’s laggy as fuck, not a lot of people could attend what was planned as the event on the week before that since we hoped to do it before school starts for many of our members.
The Company was congratulated via PMs from players after being told they were celebrating a party, some complimenting them as the “strongest”(I think he meant “most influential”) clan on Shotbow, mainly from people who were saw the Great Jewish Backfire of JewvarrB and his North Korean spoiled brat whinings, with China once again having to deal with the embarrassment and putting on a less aggressive face because it was one of their friends who did it, so they can’t be seen going against each other or some shit.
Just before the Fireworks, GunOverdose was ceremoniously given the rank of a Company Director. His promotion has seen his meritorious rise from lowly janitor, to Company [?] Major and he realized the words: “Within every Members' inventory, a Director’s Pumpkin.”(Meaning, anyone can become anything if they work hard enough).
The Trickster God of Rap and Poetry and my brother, Vergath… Cursed be his name… guided a drunk Company member to the Tomb of Irishkaiser, while Irishkaiser himself was distracted showing his divine powers in front of the audience.
The Tomb was opened and everyone came in and partied there. Enraged, Irishkaiser confronted Vergath with his own powers of War and Governance… Vergath waved Irishkaiser’s hands away and said “That place is shit anyway.”, instantly calming the situation before a Divine Battle took place.
Irishkaiser looked towards the Party Goers who began fucking around in the place and indeed, saw that the place was shit… The Party Goers, too drunk to figure out how to get out… Was immediately trapped and gassed to Irishkaiser’s amusement.
Only their cries for mercy took them back up after Irishkaiser had his fun and departed along with Vergath.
Irishkaiser - For your first year, take it slow and relax, guys. Prioritize on socializing and making friends, it’ll be a worthy investment in the long run, trust me. Oh and don’t be afraid to cheat if you can, you stupid goody two-shoes… Especially if you can do it in a very creative way in your first year. It’ll help you a lot.
Of course you shouldn’t get caught. Getting caught is like natural selection… You were probably too stupid to do it properly and therefore wiped from the gene pool. Only really smart people could cheat most effectively. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Your professors and or teachers(as professors also have a job in their field of learning, but teachers' jobs are simply TEACHING the subject) can have varying personalities so, flexibility in diplomacy is key. Nigga, this is the real world. This ain’t UTC anymore - where honesty and sincere positions are the norm - you in the streets now, dawg. You better learn how to deal with your teachers and shit, yo. They are people and people sometimes like their ass kissed. Depending on the professor of course… But nigga, if I was your professor… Well, you know me.
Befriend your teachers and professors and make them part of your socialization investment as well… If things go sour, they might give you those extra opportunities or super early warnings to save yourself a failure.
PAID FOR BY THE UNIVERSITY OF HITLER DID NOTHING WRONG
The Directory proudly announces there was no trade run because it’s a holiday! Banjo Week Celebrations Ended, however.
I have a feeling that there was a couple of trades this week, that I forgot to ask around or mention. If you remember them, please post it below.
NotMatt486 2nd place, FPSHater 1st place. Let’s just get this over with. 3rd place is like… Minecraftepic or something, I don’t know.
NO WE DO NOT. WE DO NOT, GUN. WE DO…. NOT.
Bitches love Buttons. Gonna get my bitch a button.
Fuck you, LagZ.
1) Celebrations Completed. SOP
2) Trade Run Next Week.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH
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