^HEADLINES

    EDITORIAL

    TRADE

    DRILLS

    DOMESTIC

    ORDERS


    • HEADLINES: Company Forces Extract Entire Pumpkin Loot in Yawpton

    YAWPTON, F.L.- UTC Forces composed of one minimum strength-sized Corps(12) successfully raided and captured all the Halloween Pumpkin loot in Yawpton on the 2nd of October, 2016. The event was also used as a testing ground for an intentionally built Supply Train and the new “Engineer” support roles developed by the General Staff of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company.

    The experience has generated battlefield data to be studied by the General Staff for deployment in future battles, such as the perfect ratio for the supply train inventory. The Engineer was also discovered to be overall useful and to have huge battlefield potential. The Engineer(Kruziikaazjun) however noted that everyone kept staying near the field works and sometimes in a very clumped position. The engineer had to constantly remind his section to stay behind the field works, especially the Supply Train, Jamwizard2, who at times moved OVER THE FIELD WORKS like some autist who can’t stay in one place for awhile. The men clumping around the field works made it difficult for the engineer to set up Inf Bow suppression as they constantly blocked their line of sight.

    Threats were also noted from FireKnight1483 who bad-mouthed UTC again and threatened the UTC with his clan, Legacy.

    The following were participants.

    SQUAD 1

    Kruzikaazjun - 222nd*

    jamwizard2 - 234th

    Chibotle - 111th(participated as a Scout in the Far East. Didn’t do any actual fighting.)

    SQUAD 1-2

    cyclone_43 - 234th*

    Matt - 234th

    404 - 234th

    SQUAD 2

    Gun - 93rd*

    Silver - 93rd*

    Yakuza - 111th*

    SQUAD 3

    Pi - 93rd*

    Derussiander - 93rd

    Meme - 93rd

    Note, “asterisks” denote Full Company Members


    • EDITORIAL Using the Pumpkin Events to Test Battlefield Strategies, Tactics and training in Organization.

    Irishkaiser - This month, we have an opportunity. The Halloween treat chests are perfect for the UTC as the condition can be controlled. We have a time and a location, and so we can set up and provide a free fire zone to test new tactics and strategies. The Halloween exercises should be the season to have varied locations for fighting.

    I think in future Halloween Treat Chests, we should work on defending them and see how long we last in the battlefield.


    • TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade Run

    The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered

    3 Iron Armor Sets

    3 Chain Sets

    4 Iron Swords

    in value exchange for

    34 Health Potions

    A trade run that had a minimum-strength Corps(12 players) divided into two Companies, under the overall command of Irishkaiser

    I Corps: Irishkaiser

    1st Company, 1st Squad: Irishkaiser, 2nd Squad: GunOverdose

    2nd Company, 3rd Squad: cyclone_43, 4th Squad: Ominous

    The trade run encountered few people with almost no resistance. Cyclone was noted to lack initiative or any independent leadership, preferring instead to rely on orders from I Corps Commander Irishkaiser. The trade run started in Grimdale and ended in Portsmouth, where the lack of customers and eventual attrition, with the dissolution of 4th Squad, and 3rd Squad, the Corps became a Company. The trade run was deemed uneventful, but they have managed to recruit a new guy called 404MoltR or something. He also uses Rooney.

    404 was eventually attacked by three premiums: ACrispyDedede, Sercelix and Kryptuss. 2nd Squad came to defend 404MoltR and defeated all three premiums, recovering the stuff for 404 where we promptly escaped North.


    • TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered

    5 Diamond Swords

    in value exchange for

    10 Health Potions

    2 Cobwebs

    1 Button

    Rahlihkh wants to do 5K


    • PvP Drill archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html 62 Mass PvP Event - Drill to be Reminded

    Someone send me the drill this week.


    • DOMESTIC The Kirby5098 Scandal

    93rd Regimental Kirby5098 was demoted back to recruit status this week after the 93rd Regiment found Kirby5098 guilty of Jewish conspiracy and undermining regimental unity. GunOverdose was also connected in the scandal for trying to sweep the issue under the rug by dismissing Pi’s complaints and request for inquiry and wiping the ranks clean, effectively demoting Pi and Silver from leadership roles and ignoring the case thrown at Kirby, with his excuse being: “I don’t care”.

    Irishkaiser, after hearing of the affair, vetoed Gun’s initial response to the situation and insisted that Pi had the right of habeas corpus. The Irishkaiser-led investigation summoned testimony from all members of the 93rd, with the exception of ArgoArcher.

    The majority all testified against Kirby for twisting their words and conveying the wrong opinions. With the evidence and testimony established, GunOverdose apologized to Pi and everyone affected by his decision and then chose to convene a general vote on what to do with Kirby who expressed regret and spams of “I’M SORRY, PLEASE FUCK ME”.

    The convention on Kirby’s status demoted him to a recruit.


    • DOMESTIC Company Raiders encounter large Premium Force in Gravelands.

    Another doomed UTC raid into the Midlands occurred last week after the trade run. Company forces were reduced to 1 over-sized squad(6 players), 2 of whom were NEW RECRUITS(Mnidust), ONE OF WHOM WAS RECRUITED DURING THE SAME DAY(404MoltR). Derussiander was a Dungeoneer and just a Regimental, so he wasn’t experienced in these sorts of things. Only three Company Members were effective during the raid: Irishkaiser, Mr_Pi and YakuzaFour.

    Before the raid even began, Irishkaiser assessed the situation. Irishkaiser wanted to go straight to Al Hasa, but Yakuza insisted they needed water, so Abandoned Farm was the first place to go to. Assessing their strength, Irishkaiser noted that out of pure idiocy, Yakuza DRANK HIS SPEED POTION EARLY THINKIGN IT WAS HIS WATER BOTTLE and therefore lost ¼ of the unit’s firepower. Mr.Pi however had a void bow to at least equalize the situation.

    Conceding to Yakuza’s better experience and assurance that “Probably small teams are the only ones in SS at the school season”, the group marched to Abandoned Farm to refill water.

    This time, the Company stood up much longer against the premiums, thanks to better equipment, but were overwhelmed by pure numbers(7 players confirmed by YakuzaFour). The fighting started in Abandoned Farm, where Company forces encountered two premiums. Irishkaiser tried his best to steady the recruits but they got lost quickly in the melee and one(mnidust) died early.

    Irishkaiser called for a general retreat and passed by another group of 3 players who collided with the 7-man premium group and they too were killed shortly. Irishkaiser then tried to make a stand at the chokepoint and the group held off the enemy bravely with the addition of a cobweb placed in as strategic spot - only when Pi ran out of ammo was the Company unable to hold off the enemy who began to grapple and swarm up the stairs. Derussiander, then broke off and got killed at this point and it was only the three Company Members left, with Yakuza taking the full brunt of the enemy’s forces.

    Irishkaiser and Pi were pushed back by 4 players while the other half went for Yakuza(later, all of them went for Yakuza). Regrouping at Cave of the Dying Lady, Irishkaiser and Pi were about to coordinate a plan to rescue Yakuza, but were forced to engage 2 premiums. Irishkaiser and Mr.Pi held them off, but lack of ammunition and a decreasing potion supply forced them to retreat. Both sides were running low on food at this point and the Supply Train died in the fighting way too early(even though we told him to stay away).

    Yakuza reported to have ran up the mountain side, went pass Hell Tree, then ran all the way to Aspermont. Irishkaiser and Pi regrouped with 404Molt’s alt(Rooney19) to provide food and ammunition, but fighting broke out again at the same time. Irishkaiser held off the enemy for a good amount of time but was forced to retreat. The enemy did not chase as it’s assumed that the other side was also running low on food and that YakuzaFour was the bigger fish. 404 didn’t know how to support properly and stalled and delayed for quite awhile, that the group was forced back from the river and then Irishkaiser was then killed by a premium named Umbreonn(Who was noted to apologize for killing Irishkaiser who he said “lagged” like crazy or something).

    Pi later abandoned his diamond sword in the woods and then was killed after wasting all his potions.

    The defeat was met with steady morale as Company forces fared much better than ever before and it was only proper numbers that were lacking this time: Only 3 Members who all stood and fought smartly and valiantly. They did not log or quit like bitches without assuring all of the survivors were safely extracted.


    • DOMESTIC Company Forces Encounter and Defeat Bandits in Rainytown

    111th kills like three guys again.


    • DOMESTIC 234th Regiment of Whitehaven under fire for dishonorable conduct and Street Justice.

    The 234th Regiment is under fire today for dishonorable conduct and both getting their shit kicked in. The rest of the Company’s regiments cheered on as the 234th got what it deserved and got upshut buttfucked.

    Report from Jamwizard2:

    The squad of four (jamwizard2 cyclone Matt 404) was heading to forest where they found an Emerald named ohNick and a white named 1999rocks. They were peaceful but cyclone proceeded to say “come on guys lets attack them and kill the premium” Following orders we rushed them and killed 1999rocks and chased after ohNick. Cyclone gets too far ahead and gets killed by ohNick, proceeds to respawn and head to paulster. After that the group went to lazerville grabbed food and walked to frostbain. Halfway up cyclone got attacked by a player named Theherooftime and was chased up the ice road where the squad of three killed him. Cyclone logged and the squad headed to frostbain where they looted and met straugher said hi and continued looting. Eventually 404, was looting the northwest tower where the two mentioned earlier climbed up and killed him, then climbed down and kill matt, then after a longer fight, jamwizard2. Cyclone says he was trying to recruit him after he died. But he denied it

    Report from Cyclone_43

    Upon approaching forest Matt was sent in to scout the town and he saw 1 guy at first then the second guy. After noticing they were premium and one had a gold name tag, cyclone thought they were with Fireknights group and attacked them. The Cyclone flashed, but missed. Cyclone then charged and Jam flashed cyclone and the two premiums. The lowered geared premium was killed. And then there was a long chase, in which jam wizard proceeded to try to shoot ohnick, the premium with a gold name tag, even though it was a running fight and he was not low. After a while of shooting jam fell behind a hundred or so blocks and was disorientated. At this point cyclone should’ve circled back to meet with jam but was determined to kill the premium. After a fight of 30 or so seconds cyclone broke a piece of the premiums armor, but was ultimately killed. He hadn’t had the time to rekit his hot bar due to being in a dense part of the forest. After getting killed cyclone said “Don’t 1v1 that guy, he’s good.” And then cyclone had a long conversation with ohnick, who only played minez casually and to pvp. After asking him if he’d like to join ohnick said “idk…” and then logged out. After this cyclone made his way to paluster and was attacked by the premium (he hopped on cyclone) and chased cyclone up the ice road until he met up with the group who then killed the premium. The group was either going to go do shrine of the dusk, or Jam was going to show the two trainees how to farm flashes in paluster. Either way they were making a pit stop at frostbain. Cyclone then logged. 404 was later killed in frostbain by ohnick and his friend. Jam and matt went to then attack ohnick and his friend, even after cyclone said not to 1v1 ohnick, a 2v2 is essentially a 1v1 in the sense that you have one target, although you have a team mate to swap out with. The group at this point should’ve fled the town as it was a losing fight. But they decided to start fighting anyways and then after getting their asses kicked tried to run away. But matt didn’t have sugar so jam had to turn around and fight and they both got killed

    Report from 404MoltR

    Yesterday there was an incident where 4 of us (Myself[404], matt51096, Jamwizard, & Cyclone) died. Talking to Cyclone after the fact, he told me there was a report, and you were upset with him after reading it. I was confused as to why you would be upset, so I read said report, and I realised that it isn’t 100% accurate. First, Cyclone wasn’t the only one to say “Kill them.” It was agreed upon by all 4 of us, including Jamwizard, after a solid 2 minutes worth of debate or so. Jamwizard also fails to report the fact that during combat, he not only neglected Food Levels, but also stopped chasing in order to bow (while he was withing melee distance) in a very dense forest, leading to Cyclone being left alone while Jam had straggled to far behind to catch up. During this time, matt51096 and Myself were under orders to “Loop around” back towards Forest in order to retrieve the other players goods that we had killed earlier. We were not successful, due to miscommunication, mostly on the part of us recruits. Shortly after this, we heard cyclone claim that he had died, and he ordered immediate retreat, due to threat factors from another clan, as well as taking into account the squadrons current gear. The third mistake in the earlier report was shortly after I (404) died in Frostbain. The mistake of my death was purely my fault, for I got careless being surrounded by allies, and did not expect aan enemy ambush, but the death of matt51096 and Jamwizard, was also due to miscommunication. As I died, I reported enemy numbers, equipment, and location, and requested gear retrieval, if possible. What I did not account for, was for both Jamwizard, and matt51096, to rush into an enclosed housing area, with no plans or setup, on Jamwizard’s lead. It is not my intention to create a disfavorable situation for Jamwizard upon concieving this report, for I respect him as both a player and Higher Ranking Officer. It is my goal to act as a second witness, and to help clear up some misconceptions generated due to an earlier report. I accept complete responsibility for my role in this incident, whether the mistakes and results caused by myself were intentional or not.

    Irishkaiser responded to the situation with the reasons for scolding Cyclone:

    Just to be clear, the main reason why @cyclone_43 is being scolded and forced to apologize is because of the following:

    1) He went patrolling in the name of the Company(because the target was a group - not ohNicks and 1999rocks - hostile to the Company and not to cyclone alone) and did not inform the Company of what he was doing.

    2) He attacked in bad faith(establishing friendly relations and then going back on it).

    3) He proceeded to be rude to the people by asking them to join after trying to kill them


    • ORDERS: *

    1) Trade Run completed. SOP.

    2) Refill our Binding Helmets

    3) Refill our Diamond Sword Stocks.


    ^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH.