- HEADLINES: Field Manual Published
- EDITORIAL My “Addiction” to War, a Psychological Self-Analysis, Part 1
- TRADE US MineZ Trade Run
- PvP Drill 71st Mass PvP Event - ???
- DOMESTIC Pittacus' Gang Enslaved after Successful Operation by Secret Allies.
- DOMESTIC Pittacus wants Gold Armor sets back, in exchange for returning Aspermont Harbor items.
- DOMESTIC 1st Regiment defeat more of Pittacus' Gang
- DOMESTIC Battle of Grimdale to be awarded a Battle Honour?
- DOMESTIC A Battle Buddy Tournament?
- DOMESTIC Trade Run Cancelled Due to Christmas
- ORDERS: *
ASPERMONT, W.L.- The UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company Field Manual was updated and published for 2016, after months of work compiling all the lessons and innovations following the Al Hasa Disaster, the Icaruis War, and the Spookyfest Campaign. The hard lessons were all analyzed, dissected and submitted to the General Staff of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company, with the primary author being Company [?] Major of the Directorate, Field Marshal and Captain of the 1st Regiment “Westerlands”, Irishkaiser.
The Manual updated certain commands and simplified formations. It also included new sections divided into three parts, it also includes new tactics and organization methods that are deemed relevant to the current battlefield realities of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company.
Irishkaiser - For years, since I started leading clans in 2007, after getting into the more strategic side of play, I’ve noticed a certain inherent fetish I have for planning, executing and leading. While other colleagues and fellow gamers tried to emulate the Hollywood heroics and the fantastic idealism of battle, I got deeper and emulated the reality to get results. At first I realized that trying to directly adapt what they did in real life to video games is folly because there are certain mechanics and nuances such as respawning, general equality of equipment(for the most part) and the unreliability of command and control(individual player choices) that restricted the player from using their own creativity, intelligence and initiative.
When I discovered that you adapt strategy and tactics not implement it, I was also lucky I had certain characteristics like charisma(as some of you may notice) and got people to follow me and helped me push through with my ideas. I personally think that’s when my addiction to “war” began. As people followed me and trusted me and my plans to lead them to victory, I was filled with pride and my ego swelled with every success. I craved that success and the popularity it gave me. Matches like that gave me meaning and validated my self-worth, even if it was just a video game with some strangers on the internet I sometimes never meet again. Though at times, we may have failed due to some hiccup, blunder, an unforeseen factor or even just the badass skills of my opponents, the people I led in the virtual battlefields realized that if they worked together and followed a plan, they stood a chance and I was the center of attention.
Hard and bitter defeats refined my understanding and though I was an “alpha male” of the team usually, I began to subordinate my will to the will of the team, who in turn subordinated their will to me. Failures and blunders made me realize that plans and strategies that only feed my ego only lead to defeat or hollow victories. To get my much sought after praise, I had to win; that answer was found by playing at home. Playing in SEA/EA servers are some of the most brutal matches you will have. Here in the Orient, most gamers here in competitive matches have a motto: “QUYET THANG/DETERMINED TO WIN.”. Asian players will bite, scratch, claw and go for any blow to beat you. They don’t care if they’ll sacrifice themselves as long as they win. Playing there forged me and I adopted their motto as part of my philosophy that I will try my best and then some. Though we from the East are fucking brutal when it comes to fighting, you must know that Asian servers are also some of the most hilariously crazy and bomb-ass funny servers on “peaceful” gamemodes. A lot of my humor was refined there too. SEA/EA is where I was born and made. It is crazy on both ends of the spectrum. I miss playing with them regularly.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
3 Chain Sets
4 Iron Swords
1 Zombie Bow
2 Infinity Bows
1 Diamond Sword
2 Iron Axes
in value exchange for
32 Health Potions
This Trade Run started off with a bang, in Grimdale as Company Forces encountered two Irons with one Iron attacking a Scout resulting in the entire Corps to attack him. Later, Anthobot, being a lying nigger again came up telling everyone how it was the UTC’s fault that his life was fucking gay or whatever and UTC did what any reasonable person would do and put that nigger out of his misery. The Corps, which was nominally led by Sahlgutmir, but for the most part was manipulated by Irishkaiser behind the scenes who wanted to test and see how UTC Officers would perform on their own without him.
The Corps moved to Portsmouth and sold half the stuff there where they encounter more of Pittacus' Group, and discovered Omegapirateroy in full iron. They were all creampied appropriately. The climax of the Trade Run came in Grimdale where most of Pittacus' Group was geared and concentrated. As the trade run was finished, Pittacus attacked, in the most perfect timing ever just when we were combat ready.
Initially, customers died and the UTC, in true Avenging Hammer of White Justice fashion, the UTC summoned all their rage and took Pittacus' entire gang to the cleaners, drove them to school sobbing like muppets and then beat them up again. Jamwizard commented on the ease of the battle, before it was even decided by saying “Is this really their plan..?”, mocking the premiums' lack of intelligence. Irishkaiser was known to have been even disappointed later at his enemies, asking how the people he trained could just degenerate rapidly and suck so bad after they left. He was later cheered up by a bottle of scotch whiskey after the fight.
FinnMNMiner also joined again and shit. Whatever. All items were recovered and all of Pittacus' Gang’s loot was taken with no casualties to the UTC side.
Somebody send me their report.
The Secret Coalition conducted a successful operation last week ensuring the enslavement of Pittacus' Gang. The operation and its details are classified but Pittacus' Gang are effectively(but indirectly) under the control and exploitation of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company. Some people in the UTC consider the enslavement(which technically it is, so that’s why we’re pushing for it as a term), as morally abhorrent and at the same time, unbecoming of the UTC, especially when the UTC managed to somehow enslave them behind their backs.
The majority of the UTC see it as poetic justice for what they did and are supportive of the idea of slavery.
The Army of Observation, the UTC’s standing army declares that Pittacus' Gang will now benefit the UTC, whether they want to or not, so as long as the classified operation continues.
Pittacus decided after all, after weeks of flip flopping saying she wants them back and then not want them back, and then saying she wants them back again, to not wanting them back. Irishkaiser expects another flip flop but kept the option open. It was later reported during the negotiations that Irishkaiser tried to push his luck and tried to negotiate for another one of his bullshit desires involving Pittacus writing “Property of Irishkaiser”[sic] on at least one of her mammaries. The General Staff facepalmed at the embarrassment and later tried to replace Irishkaiser with someone else, but both Irishkaiser and Pittacus agreed on terms(sans mammary vandalization) before his replacement could be found.
Members of the 1st Regiment just playing around discover and defeat Omegapirateroy who was in half-iron and with splash potions and golden apples and stuff. Company forces were baffled as to his easy defeat by 1st Regimental Sergeant Sahlgutmir, who was in full chain and an iron sword with little splashes at the time who wondered how he died without using his splash potions or even anything that could keep him alive.
Some say yes, others say no. What’s your opinion, citizen?
Directory Members speculate a Battle Buddy tournament to be held… Some time after we’re not busy
1) Trade Run completed. SOP.
2) Restock our Gunpowder Alt
THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH.