- HEADLINES: Stunning Week of Victories in the Midlands
- EDITORIAL “The Curious Case of Benjamin Kaiser”
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade Run
- PvP Drill archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html 87h Mass PvP Event - War Games and Drills
- DOMESTIC 234th Draws First Blood, Irishkaiser mourns than winks and cheers Cyclone
- DOMESTIC Negotiations under way for Company Bank Loan
- DOMESTIC 1.9 Modernizes Current Doctrine
- ORDERS: *
ASPERMONT, W.L.- Against six of the enemy, the Company has scored 3 victories in the past week, including the 234th’s drawing of first blood and only suffering one casualty in return. The enemy, as listed and implicated by certain agents were involved.. The stunning battles that involved regiments of the 1st, the 93rd, the 111th and 234th achieved a total of 21 kills for the past week, capturing multiple diamonds swords and iron armor sets were presented to Irishkaiser. An average of contact of three hostiles a day, though in reality, they were concentrated in four days of hard fighting
with one of the major fights happening in treacherous Fort Erie.
Directory Member Irishkaiser in New Zealand states that he is proud of his “Young Guard” and their capabilities.
Irishkaiser - When you travel a lot, you tend to meet other people(no shit) and I’ve noticed a few things and one involves my social skills. I literally cannot maintain a conversation with people around my age except unless we’re on the same footing of some kind and I’ve only managed to casually talk to very senior people. This has been quite the norm for me and I realized that I am very disinterested when other young adults such as myself begin talking about their bullshit or something such as that Canadian I met in Vietnam, except in that case it was the other way around where she wanted to disengage from the TOPIC SHE STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN I WENT FULL KAISER.
Deflecting the blame and being pretentious right now, I would say that maybe it’s because I feel that I’ve “outgrown” that supposed stage in one’s life where you feel like you have the answer to all the problems and are very driven in doing what you believe in and you also believe there is some kind of overall order or structure or that everyone will follow certain principles or ideas that you themselves have built up even though no one has the same ideas and some would probably kill you for their ideas and your best answer to that is probably: “HEY… YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”
to which the killers would respond: “lol what are you gonna do about it.”
It is tedious to talk to them and then feel as if I’ve had this conversation a million times unless I’m drunk then I start talking about how their ideas suck or are bad in the first place like that one Ghana guy who only one year my junior in Dubai who wanted to “make a car for all Africans” or some stupid shit like that. The older people on the other hand, I enjoy. Especially when the topic is just general or casual life of deeper meaning. I take pleasure in listening to an old man talk about his kids or how he and his friends used to play on horses while pretending to be Cowboys and Indians in the past.
I’ve also learned a couple of things from listening to them. Most I will keep to myself because you all can suck my dick and I’ll get ahead in life, but did you know that there was no McDonalds in New Zealand till about the late 1980s.
Shit, I feel like Benjamin Button yo.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Diamond Swords
2 Iron Armor Set
2 Infinity Bows
2 Iron Axes
in value exchange for
29 Health Potions
The last pre-Combat Update Trade Run was headed by UnmaskMe and led the Company on a very boring trade run. Though hostile elements were spotted online, UnmaskMe used clever and guile to frustrate them and went off selling to a bunch of guys just south of a Bordertown.
A large scale patrol encouraged to teach patience, order and discipline to the new recruits and organization and the reality of long distance coordination was conducted on a Corps level on Friday last week as the combined force scoured the Westerlands and the Midlands to watch out for hostile elements - killing BurnedApplePie, TOWSHE and Pittacus, all of whom are related and or active plotters against the UTC. The only casualty and throughout the entire week was the result of a miscommunication and vague understanding in terms of distance.
That person, though a veteran, misunderstood or misjudged the distance and the moving ever changing battlefield continued chasing the enemy out of the belief that nearby support would come to relieve him shortly. He was later killed by fast health drain of 2 hearts, then half, then 3, then 2, then 2.
But his killer was shortly killed by incoming reinforcements under Cyclone. The Corps later secured the Westerlands and Midlands simultaneously.
Irishkaiser’s son was killed last week by members of the 234th Regiment. Irishkaiser publicly broke down and cried at the loss of his “boy”. He was later spotted backstage winking and cheering Cyclone_43, putting a few hundred dollars in Cyclone’s pocket and then slapping him in the ass with another wink before grabbing his crotch in a sexually aggressive manner.
Lipreaders in the premises reported that what Irishkaiser said to Cyclone was:
“Thanks for getting me out of child support, buddy.”
Whilst in New Zealand, Irishkaiser still made himself useful by negotiation loans from the Company Bank on modernizing services and capabilities. Most people rejected him however but a lot are still open to it. It’s kind of funny to realize that the Company Bank is fueled by the United States Gold and Silver minting industry, the Philippine Stockmarket and Construction Industry and some guy’s soccer earnings.
With 1.9 being released, Company Forces are looking to modernize their Armed Forces on a tactical level. Tactical innovation and ideas and suggestions and most importantly reports should be sent to Irishkaiser so he can study them for further application.
The current Manual of Arms is now obsolete.
1) Trade Run completed. SOP.
2) Trade Run Next Week.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH