- HEADLINES: Task Force Chester Assembled to Tackle Hostile Elements
- EDITORIAL “Analysis of Toxicity in the Clan”
TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade Run
TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade
- PvP Drill archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html 91st Mass PvP Event - No Drills No Thrills
- DOMESTIC Alicethekiller Directory Ambition Conspiracy Revealed
- DOMESTIC Task Force Chester defeats multiple instances of the enemy.
- DOMESTIC UTC uniform receives an upgrade
- DOMESTIC GunOverdose Abolishes Community Runs
- FINANCE No Gains This Week Due to Bank Switch
- ORDERS: *
^HEADLINES
EDITORIAL
TRADE
DRILLS
DOMESTIC
FINANCE
ORDERS
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS- A long three-day debate to assemble a fighting UTC group to tackle elements of “Objective Abel” and “Objective Banjo” resulted in the creation of a large “Task Force” to deal with bandit groups harassing UTC Imperial Citizens and Imperial interests. The Imperial Assembly initially considered raising an official Company Army, but members blocked its passage because they deemed the enemy as not “dignified” enough to be given the “privilege” of “facing a Company Army”, much to the chagrin of the practicals who wondered why the fuck it matters what it’s called as long as it’s done.
The ensuing debate about mincing words and caring too much about what other people think resulted in a compromise to create not an “Army” but a “Task Force” with the designation of “Chester”. This satisfied the interests of every Assembly member because it made the force a “sandbox” to test out tactics, weapons and myriads of other things of modern 1.9 fighting and of course the practical defense of actually raising a dedicated group to combat. The name “Task Force” also created a legal loophole in which it was defined that only Company Members could lead a Company Army, but nothing was said about “Task Forces”, so it provided the opportunity for Regimentals to lead and operate within a Company structure, which allowed Fercho_ to lead it. The Task Force was created with these goals in mind:
1) To Achieve Combat Parity and or Superiority with Dangerous Elements of Active Combat Areas
2) To remove Objective Abel from their positions.
3) If possible remove Objective Banjo, or learn from them as much as possible through reconnaissance by fire.
The Task Force later went on to score multiple victories without a single loss, completely wiping out Objective Abel but escalated the fight with Objective Banjo who later brought in more and more of its own clan into the fight. Rather than increasing the possibility of removing Objective Banjo, the Task Force, through its victories has created an implacable enemy, eager for revenge and to “prove a point” that the UTC is not invincible. The Task Force, since its creation, has not given the enemy that opportunity.
Lieutenant_Joe - Is the UTC toxic? A lot of people outside the clan, former members, premiums and regulars alike, seem to think so. The short answer is yes, and the long answer would require telling the entire history of the UTC starting even before the clan moved to MineZ, so I’m gonna try to summarize as concisely as possible. The UTC is toxic, but it’s only toxic by necessity. As the oldest continuously active clan on Shotbow, it’s seen some shit. It’s been betrayed from both the inside and the outside multiple times, been the target of hackers, DDoSers and even excommunication attempts from admins, and it’s survived everything thrown its way. It’s been jaded by the community. The clan is toxic because everyone else is toxic towards it. Initially it was hated for the fact that it stood against everything the Premium Reddit Elite stood for and the uncanny way it managed to be vulgar and pompous and humble all at once, not conforming to any social norms and promoting free speech to (what the elite saw as) an extreme degree. It had to first learn how to defend itself from inadequate members, then massive premium attacks, then hackers, then volatile members, then traitors, and now it’s being forced to defend itself against DDoSers. It would not have survived had it not hardened itself to all of these things and taken a cold, hard, apathetic stance towards them. The clan doesn’t care about you or your problems, and you’ll only end up regretting it if you decide to act on your hatred. It was able to do this only because of Irishkaiser. Without Irishkaiser, none of this would exist, and no one has yet appeared that has the spirit, the strength of mind and the willpower to carry on his legacy. Every clan before and since the UTC’s inception (with the current exception of Dawn Brigade, Sgt Squad and MAYBE Legacy) has either been the victim of apathy from its members and leadership or imploded due to the materialistic savagery typical of tribal premiums. Unlike the leaders of those inferior clans, Irish will do anything to keep his clan alive and well, and we will follow him to the ends of the Earth. The day he stops caring is the day we die. TL;DR: The UTC is toxic but only because it has to be, since everyone else is toxic towards it (even people it assumed were friendly… lookin at you, DB). The UTC has lasted as long as it has BECAUSE of its cold brand of toxicity, and because of its indomitable leadership. Please, come fuck with us, it will only make us stronger. That is all.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
2 Infinity Bows
4 Chain Sets
4 Iron Swords
1 Iron Chestplate
1 Lone Sword
1 Depth Strider
in value exchange for
31 Health Potions
An eventful trade run that ALMOST MADE IT AS A BATTLE HONOUR. Started off in Yawpton where scouts reported in the South of Irishkaiser’s God-awfully obsessed ex-girlfriend forming up some kind of gang to beat him up for “stealing her heart” or some shit like that. Earlier, she would not leave him alone and kept taunting him on eyechat. It’s kinda ironic because she was like “HAH 90% OF UTC LEFT YOU. YOU HAVE NO ONE TO DO A TRADE RUN WITH LEFT. THIS WILL BE EASY!”
And she tried to steel her disorganized, useless gang’s nerve who were still afraid as the UTC’s dominance over them was still fresh. She harangued them saying “Don’t worry! There’s no UTC left! We’ll outnumber them this fight!”. Pittacus on the otherhand was excited at the prospect secretly whispering to herself “I know you can beat me like you always beat me… Just the way I like it… So don’t disappoint me.”
Meanwhile, disappointed Irishkaiser who wonders why the fuck she still following him and would not leave him alone was just organizing the trade run non-chalantly.
The trade run started at Portsmouth and met Sam_F and some other guys. Scouts reported Pittacus in the area, but nowhere to be found. Irishkaiser and his company managed to find Pittacus and started slowly approaching, before Pittacus caught wind and started running away, expecting Irishkaiser to “chase her” like he would in her dreams. This did not came true, so she decided to chase him and was promptly killed. She realized she was poorly dressed and that Irishkaiser would probably want to take her out to a fancy place so she put on her iron armor and diamond sword with heels to make her ass stick out or some shit, hoping he’d notice cause he’s an ass man. She got her chauffeurs and escorts cause what is she? Poor? She was Obsidian for Christ’s sake and therefore should have the luxury of attendants and followers.
Upon seeing her target, she maddeningly dashed at him, throwing a flashbang to announce her arrival. But she ran so fast and forgot she was wearing heels that she started to trip, breaking her leg and limped in the melee. In the ensuing fight, her leg twisted upon itself again as usual and she was quickly put down. Her escorts were all scattered and hunted down one by one as the blooded UTC now filled with lust(the blood kind, not the sexual kind) started scouring the area for more irons to kill. Only two more were needed to acquire “battle honour” status but they could not be found even though reports of “iron sword” murders from non-UTC were in the area.
After respawning a bit, she then started begging for her stuff back, which was promptly denied by the UTC. She then reasoned to herself “Oh, playing hard to get… I getcha.”
The Company later sold out and left. At the end, SkimboardMonkey, who fought on Pittacus' side was seen to turn on combat hacks as evidenced by the large amount of NPCs he killed around him. Fuck him.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Zombie Bow
in value exchange for
1 Venom Bow
1 Grenade
1 Potion
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Venome Bow
in value exchange for
4 Apples
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Zombie Bow
in value exchange for
Forgot
Useless bitch ass zombie ass nigga ass bow ass… Shiiiiiieeeeeet.
No reports, no deports.
A long, subtle plot to remove Cyclone was foiled by the UTC,and a historiography was revealed with testimonies from Shrauger, GreyWolf and ObliviousBob. However, the most condemning testimony that backed up all the previous conjecture was the one given by user Jamwizard2. Irishkaiser became depressed and later became nihilistic and hateful of everyone.
Though the case seemed “closed”. The inspectors of the case discovered there was more to UnmaskMe soon after with another testimony from an “amiable” who came out of nowhere that pieced out her bullshit story together. With the person leaving MineZ in general and being quiet about it, especially when she let Irishkaiser have the last word, it was too late.
The inspectors came to the conclusion that user UnmaskMe knew more than was thought of before and was riding out and playing all the options to save herself from the worst of either side. Though inconsequential to the UTC, it finally pieced together her final reasons and may be published when more files are declassified for historical compilation.
Task Force Chester encountered and defeated Objective Abel and elements of Objective Banjo this week and the last. All outnumbered. Unfortunately, a certain Gold-2 said he has about 21 kills in total. Upon further investigation he was KILLING THE WRONG PEOPLE AND NOT THE ENEMY. Well, he did kill some of the enemy.
But the rest of Task Force Chester however performed admirably. The full military force of Task Force Chester is yet to be deployed as the main force will start to come in after the American UTC are done with their exams. So far, since the start of operations - not a single casualty was inflicted on the UTC.
After recent encounters and war gaming, the UTC uniform received slight modifications and upgrades. Also, we have region-specialized uniforms now.
Gun “Eenie meanie miney moe” Overdose abolished community runs again. No idea why.
The security of our new bank service provider is really deadly ass serious about it. It takes a bit longer to get everything processed, but Irishkaiser did admit they were reliable and on-point. Bank account is open but the application to open further services is still pending.
1) Trade Run completed. SOP.
2) Trade Run Next Week.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH