- HEADLINES: Queen Cami Gifts UTC on Banjo Week
- EDITORIAL “Honor Bounds Me..”
- TRADE US MineZ Trade Run
- TRADE US MineZ Trade
- TRADE US MineZ Trade
- PvP Drill 105th Mass PvP Event - Hot-Bloods vs Dithers
- DOMESTIC New Army formed: Irishkaiser takes most experienced officers.
- DOMESTIC Kaiser Arsenal delivers its valuable network to Virtue Industries
- DOMESTIC Server Lag Hits the Drill Servers
- DOMESTIC Raids in the Gravelands replenishes diamond sword stocks
- DOMESTIC HazeRanger Adventures
- DOMESTIC Floridian Refugees displaced by Hurricane Irma begin shitposting in UTC subreddit.
- FINANCE Spyware Regains Control of PIN, begins auditing.
- ORDERS: *
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS- Queen Cami, in HER ETERNAL MERCY of FIRE AND STEEL DEATH FROM ABOVE IT’S AN ARMY OF WINGS, has granted the UTC a gift. The gift was most graciously accepted and what not.
Money money money, it’s really funny… In a rich man’s world.
Irishkaiser - A conversation with a certain Jager the other day showcased to me the stupid in the moment promises made by a bunch of drunken Bundeswehrsoldat who fucked themselves in the foot with their own honour. The conversation went something like this:
Spyware: Who’s the idiot that came up with that
Spyware: Literally going against the PURPOSE OF A REGIMENT
Spyware: So you decided to cut contact
Spyware: What’s wrong with forming like a regimental club
Spyware: No shit you are
Spyware: You guys totally contradicted what a regiment is supposed to be
Spyware: Jesus fuck
A Jager never goes back on his promise. An admirable trait and very honorable that he was true to his promise to the end, but promises bind us and here I see a person once again making a stupid mistake simply with his word of honor. I’m not saying a person’s word is not important but I feel like people don’t know the gravity when they give their word and that affects their choices. Everyday life you can see people making promises they cannot keep… You only have to look at the divorce rates to see that what was once a sacred vow and institution with a ceremony to cement that promise, now just seems to be… Nothing.
Yeah, I don’t have much time but you guys better keep your promises or some shit, ya dig.
The Directory proudly announces that it was cancelled due to Banjo Week.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Battle Inventory - Sans Splashes
in value exchange for
Fucking Shaymin and his fucking girl skin.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
4 Mushroom Stews
in value exchange for
4 Health Potions
Sitting on a cornflake… Waiting for the stews to run…
A Company-wide Drill on a corps level. Cyclone’s team called the Hot-Bloods and Brotado’s team called the Dithers. The server experienced spikes of lag, which was later attributed to simulate lag on MineZ servers… But the developers were highly concerned of where the lag came from as it’s very recent. Whether it was in-game of some forgotten lag-machine by some command block that’s been left running or actually from the server host itself or maybe even le BUKKIT, it hasn’t been concluded.
1st Round: First Round was in the map Fort Normandy where the Hot-Bloods took the offensive. The Hot-Bloods maneuvered to a slope and the Dithers' leader: Brotado, who was experienced in that maneuver immediately ordered to cut the Hot-Bloods' advance and prevent them from reaching the top but the superior archery of the Hot-Bloods' prevented them from fully exploiting their offensive. The Hot-Bloods were forced back however and suffering one casualty on the way down.
The emboldened Ditherers immediately began to rush from the heights, banking on their supposed superior numbers. The Hot-Bloods' leader encouraged his men to counter-charge, but desperate suggestions from subordinates convinced him to fall back and regroup, unfortunately it was too late for the Hot-Bloods' leader’s squad was already too committed in the fighting to back out. A reserve squad under Godlikespie was able to see the situation from behind and was in a good position to counter-attack. The fighting became disorderly with the exception of Godlikespie’s squad still relatively fresh. Brotado killed a teammate in the confusion(lol), which damaged the morale of the Dithers and was enough to turn a desperate fight into an even one.
Godlikespie squad was best at keeping relative cohesion as the other squads were scattered which proved decisive as in the end, only members of Godlikespie’s squad survived the fighting, giving the round to the Hot-Bloods.
2nd Round: Moving on to Aspermont with the Hot-Bloods on the defensive, the Dithers started the round by going wide around the city of Aspermont but was intercepted by the Hot-Bloods retreating to meet an entity increase. The objectives for both sides seemed to be hills and the light house at the West of Aspermont and the Dithers managed to reach it first. The Hot-Bloods garrisoned the University of Hitler Did Nothing Wrong. A subordinate who knew the city however, tried to speak of another way out but was simply relegated to flank and support. Eventually, superior gunnery from the Hot-Bloods killed Fercho from the Dithers, which evened the odds.
A report from a subordinate from the Dithers explained how the leader just seemed to mumble and give out vague orders, placing units and… “Dithering off somewhere after”, as they are unable to fully exploit their initial position. Everyone in the Dithers understood to fall back behind a hill however. The Hot-Bloods were eventually convinced by the local expert of another way to storm the hills and proceeded to assault the enemy on relatively even level. Fierce fighting broke out and entire squads were scattered and even teleported by lag. Most killing on the hill was done by fall damage, but the survivors came from the Hot-Bloods.
3rd Round: Evergreen Manor with the Hot-Bloods on the offensive again. The death of Godlikespie in the previous rounds due to lag opted the Hot-Bloods to prefer a skirmishing tactic. Convinced by their superior archery, the Hot-Bloods agreed to adopt skirmish formations and inventories, peppering the enemy with ranged fire. Cyclone_43 then ordered an ambush to be conducted with Irishkaiser as bait. Wary of ambushes, the Dithers did not take the bait and hunkered down in their defensive positions while making feints and flanking maneuvers to counter-harass the bait sent.
Cyclone_43, being a hot-blooded faggot for which his team was named took Brotado’s flanks and the feints as the enemy being split up or breaking and immediately abandoned the previous strategy and dispositions and immediately ordered to rush the enemy’s strongest line. The change of plans was so sudden that it required the help of a subordinate to rally everyone to follow cyclone_43. Cyclone_43 thinking he had people with him and forgetting that he deployed them to skirmish and ambush and not to rush, realized his situation and for a brief moment the fighting didn’t go past the crest. He was later reinforced by stragglers and late-comers who tried to come to his aid and the Hot-Bloods broke through the Dithers' defensive lines and took the crest of the stairs. For a moment, it seemed that the Hot-Bloods might route the Ditherers, but their reinforcements came piece-meal and the Ditherers had enough time to counter attack and overwhelm isolated units before they broke through completely.
Most of the troops died where they stood and some people we knocked out of the fight by being tossed through the walls. Eventually, the Ditherers' weight of numbers threw back the straggling reinforcements and chased any routed players, ending the round in favor for the Dither group.
AFTER-ACTION REPORT: The after-action report was also noted to be heavily focused on the surface mistakes and little was taught about the inner spirit. When confronted, Cyclone turned on his deflector shields and claimed that his subordinates lacked synergy with him. The others were quick to defend themselves as they followed and understood Cyclone’s intentions, but just say that he’s too hot-blooded, preferring to go to the thick of the action immediately when he sees a chance, citing the times Cyclone threw them into fights that seemed to be very bloody, and his insistence to charge in the last round when they were initially prepared to do an ambush.
Among Brotado’s critics, his subordinates say he just mumbles and dithers and is too easily pressured to give coherent orders. One of the Dithers that fought under Brotado says that Brotado just goes away when confronted by problems, both on the battlefield and off the battlefield, referring both to Brotado just placing units and then leaving them alone to deal with it themselves and Brotado not wanting to listen to criticism and actually just goes away when told about his mistakes.
The subordinate officers working together with their superior officers were shown in value. It is reminded that subordinates must also help the officer and guide them, being his extra eyes and ears. Their expertise should not be ignored like that one time, a subordinate guided the Hot-Bloods'. It also requires certain trust between officers. Though Cyclone seems to give slightly more independence, he still prefers to fight as a huge fist and keep people close to him at all times.
To carry on with more vague works, Irishkaiser takes the most senior officers of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company to form a core for his Long Campaign. He leaves the rest of the officers that aren’t specially handpicked to Cyclone_43.
In effect, cyclone_43 is practically the acting captain-general of the UTC for most matters as the rest of the Directory have been directly assigned to serve in a new Army.
Hopefully they can do something out of it. Come on, Gun. Do your duty.
Server lag hits the drill servers. /u/Avver deal with it.
After the Iron Sword bug began to be more known and widespread, UTC forces started to take diamond swords more and more. This prompted the local third world regiment to raid the Premium Villages and taking their diamond swords to replenish their own stocks.
HazeRanger went with another one of his adventures the other day… Soon found out because he forgot Irishkaiser has seen the world, tasted the weirdest shit, fucked the weirdest kinds of pussy and generally has seen lots of shit. Imagine a Euron “My Big Cock” Greyjoy… Except on the internet.
HazeRanger decided to temporarily quit the UTC for awhile and then using that as a cover to join on another account, he pretended to be a Japanese-American girl… Which… Oh my God… He really tried which was the problem. Irishkaiser probed and questioned HazeRanger’s personality about certain things that definitely Japanese people should know. The resulting exchange went something like this.
Later, when revealed among each other, UTC decided to play along because Irishkaiser wanted to fuck HazeRanger and rape him. Cyclone however was like “Nah, fuck that shit.” and requested his character be kicked. Irishkaiser was sad. He wanted to rape HazeRanger, but HazeRanger’s account wasn’t in his regiment.
They repay our kindness and open hearts with cancer.
Spyware regains control of the PIN and began his auditing. His audit discovered
29,439.07PHP or 573.58USD are deployed 10,000PHP or about 194.84USD are in reserve
Total Net Worth of: 39,439.07PHP or about 770.07USD
Spyware was later flogged.
1) Trade Run Next Week
2) Take Shaymin’s 3 cake debt.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH
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