- HEADLINES: RECENT EVENTS TO BE COMMEMORATED AS BATTLE HONOURS?
- EDITORIAL The New Playstyle in MineZ and Why I Only Feel Pity For All Of You.
- EDITORIAL Battlefield V. Why?
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html *US MineZ Trade Run**
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html *US MineZ Trade**
- PvP Drill archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html 130th Mass PvP Event - STUDIES AND OBSERVATIONS MILITARY EXERCISE
- DOMESTIC archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html FOREIGN OFFICE RECRUITS MORE FOREIGNERS OF HIGHER STANDING
- DOMESTIC archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html FOREIGN OFFICE MAKES PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT THAT THEY WILL NEVER BUY SHOTBOW
- DOMESTIC archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html INFLUX OF FOREIGNERS PLEDGE SERVICE TO FOREIGN OFFICE AFTER HEARING IT IN THE NEWS
- DOMESTIC archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html HOME OFFICE’S PROJECT DELAYED
- DOMESTIC archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html EUROPE IS GROWING STRONGER
- DOMESTIC archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html GunOverdose publicly acknowledged for the ‘Cherry on Top’
- DOMESTIC archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html LOCAL OLD MAN GOES ON NO-FAP AS SACRIFICE SINCE HE FEELS GOD WAS PART OF THE GLORIOUS LAST OF MAY
- FINANCE Tagaytay Highlands and Taal Lake Confirmed
- FINANCE STREAK OF WINS THIS WEEK
- ORDERS: *
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS- Recent events are being looked into in the Assembly if they could be publicly commemorated as Battle/Campaign Honours in spite of certain departments' calls for secrecy.
The events from which will be dubbed as “The Glorious Last of May” has allegedly euphorized the UTC and its operatives with one individual saying he was “Triple satisfied at the results” and another saying “LOL [REDACTED] IS A MONSTER”(as a compliment) commenting on a supposed chain of events that have caused great damage, great grief and great fear among groups that the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company has felt have wronged them. The certain department has the right to censor and or edit anything coming out and this news edition being an example of it.
To publicly commemorate would also mean that it needs to be publicly and historically scrutinized to “prove” it happened which means it requires a documented wiki page. Regardless, the Directory has been immensely pleased with the work, and with two cherries on top meaning two events immediately after that have only made the rest of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company giggle like a teenage girl. A Jewish teenage girl.
Credit goes to GunOverdose for one cherry on top so he’d stop ribbing the author about other things. There, see? Compromise, Gun. I publicly acknowledge you for that one thing you were doing.
Also to those UTC who operated but weren’t given security clearance or those in the Company who didn’t participate or even know what the fuck is going on, I’ll give you the full funny ass story.
Irishkaiser - This is soooo difficult due to restraints from the Foreign Office but Goddamn how pathetic are all ya’ll bitches. Holy shit, and you people hide yourself by lying to yourselves and sugar-coating and embellishing your shit while hiding your flaws. Oh my fucking God.
Alright, now… Let’s get to the really fucking hilarious parts where I’m given clearance to mention “generally” but not “specifically”: one of you niggers right now failed two semesters because of MineZ. And another one of you, doesn’t know it yet… Holy shit, UTC knows before you do, nigga…
ONE OF THE PERSONS OF INTERESTS IN THIS GAME RIGHT NOW HAS A CHEATING GIRLFRIEND. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU DON’T KNOW? GAWD DAMN.
Man, there’s so much more… But Gaaaawd damn. XD
No wonder you’re all assholes to me and the rest of the UTC. You people are all pathetic, problematic cunts that want to take out your problems and insecurities on people who have at least tried to help you before. Maybe if you niggers fixed yourselves up maybe you’ll realize Five Guys Burgers and Fries isn’t a treat you fucking hobos.
Irishkaiser - Battlefield V is personal to me. The franchise before Battlefield 3 is the I grew up with and satisfied a niche I was looking for in video games back then: huge all-out, mass-coordinated team warfare.
The relationship already soured between me and Battlefield 3 when they started “competing” with Call of Duty directly rather than going their own path. It still had its identity anyway but then it started pandering and they later lost their qualitative and unique edge. Fuck, their campaigns still suck.
You see, you first develop games via the mechanic. Is it a shooter? Is it an RTS? If it’s a shooter, what’s the star mechanic? Destruction? Vehicles? Customizable loadouts? If it’s an RTS, what is it their star mechanic? Training units by sending them in buildings and then building better units upon them in a combo of sending them to other buildings? Destructible and dynamic environment like in Warcraft III? Total War-esque battles?
Then you build the story and aesthetics from there and that’s how game is good when it’s a game. Battlefield Bad Company 1 & 2 was my star Battlefield and they nailed the formula when the mechanic is what was worked on and that was destruction. It was fresh, it was polished, it was the main selling point and it’s what we wanted in an FPS at the time even though we didn’t know we wanted it. Who cares that you can’t prone? You can blow the fuck out of a wall for a tactical advantage or the other way around when the cover around you is being blown apart and you know you have a limited amount of time before you’re exposed and out in the open.
Then Battlefield got big. It started to try to take Call of Duty out of its pedestal and in doing so, it tried to become Call of Duty. What.
It’s like this super hot girlfriend that I had the best sex of my life with but then she ruined it all by farting on my balls just before climax. That’s Battlefield V to me right now. Well, it was Battlefield 1… That was the one that farted on my balls.
The Directory proudly announces that it has cancelled the trade run due to War Games.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
3 Infinity Bows
in value exchange of
2 Golden Apples
Nigga hasn’t picked it up yet. I’m just walking around with em.
Honestly, what is the point of writing this when it’s all just going to be classified anyway. Yadda yadda yadda, discovered useful information metagame.
In place of a supposed public recognition, Peace Walker operatives are given the week off for their work. Here’s lookin' at you, kid.
Certain individuals that have been recruited by the Foreign Office have turned out to have agendas of their own as they just wanted to help UTC to “buy” Shotbow due to the fabled and legendary wealth of the Bank of the Unknown [?] Clan, seeing them as the more active, responsible and “mature” group out of most of the asshat groups that plague this God-awful community.
Immediately shocked at this proposition, Irishkaiser had made it clear in the conversation that they are not interested and has given an insultingly low price appraising Shotbow for about 30USD. The conversation was later educating about trying to buy or sell from someone who isn’t interested.
This should be expected. A Help Me, Help You modus is reasonable, fair and of course works for everyone. Win-win.
Sometime after the UTC announced it would allow foreigners to help clandestinely with complete anonymity plus the unique “international” status that makes them completely separate from Imperial Citizens, the Foreign Office received mail or some shit from some Botswana spear chuckers.
Mostly due to moving back home and exams and shit with the operatives. But I’m confident we’ll get it up and running soon enough.
Our European Empire is growing. Da.
Shake his hand cause he’s a hero or some shit I don’t know fuck that guy. He a bitch.
I feel like I have more energy and I need to do something. I’ve been more outdoorsy as of late in an attempt to distract myself from masturbating.
I’m so busy, but I just booked us Tagaytay Highlands and Taal Lake tour. That’s outdoors done.
Concurrently happening with the Glorious Last of May.
Making Money, Making Bitches Cry, Everybody Happy. Except them.
1) Trade Run Next Week.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH