HEADLINES: STUDENT FROM UHDNW SUBMITS THESIS STATISTICALLY DISPROVING SHOTBOW USING MINECRAFT TRENDING AS AN EXCUSE FOR LOWER POPULATION. BECOMES “POPULAR” DISCUSSION ON SHOTBOW FORUMS.

ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS- The University of Hitler Did Nothing Wrong released a thesis image by a student last week. Said image was later leaked to Shotbow forums last week, garnering the most discussion in a single day in some months.. Yes. 19 replies is the most Shotbow can get for an exciting thread. The meticulously sourced numbers came from Shotbow’s own newsletters.

The submission of the thesis coincides with the perception that Navarr lost the Japanese and the rising amount of blatant hackers in the game who only certain admins ban a few for publicity but keep the criminals who are in good with them due to friendship. Basically, if you’re a no-name hacker or just a spambot, goodbye. But if you’re in good with this new admin-premium cabal, you’re pretty much good to go with cheating so as long as you don’t make it too blatant that they can’t save you. This trend was spotted last year in 2017 when now admin co-lead Marine_PvP played with and turned a blind eye on premium players cheating while he was in the same group.

Sources seem to indicate that in the past three weeks, one more major PvP group has resorted to clienting.

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EDITORIAL - Hippity Hoppity, Get Off My Property.

Irishkaiser - The naive political assumption that Right to Speech is enforced and protected in, for the sake of argument, an American based domain is often misunderstood. When one has freedom of speech, it means one’s opinions and or expressions are protected from the government. Most amendments to the US Constitution is basically to protect one from the government, specifically telling the government WHAT NOT TO DO. The laws that can be changed however are ones that are supposed to protect us from each other as the stability of government is usually the only one that has a monopoly on the employment of violence.

To make certain private services a platform of free speech without voluntary consent from all its shareholders or members would set a dangerous precedent and give the government considerable influence and they may interfere whenever they want. This is usually remedied by the addition of a free market where alternative services can be produced if such a demand for it is high. Someone’s bound to do it for the money at least.

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TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run

The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered

4 Iron Swords

1 Iron Armor Set

1 Chain Set

in value exchange of

18 Health Potions

but failed to deliver

1 Iron Sword

1 Feather Falling IV Boots

1 Iron Pants

THIS IS WHY YOU FAGGOTS SHOULD JUST LET ME BRING THE TRADE RUN GEAR NEXT TIME. Also, this trade run we only had like two guys in voice chat.

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TRADE - US MineZ Trade

The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered

1 Power II Punch I Bow

in value exchange of

1 Button

It’s amazing how people just want to trade for the sake of trading. Power II bows seem to be rare enough people want them and at the same time disposable enough to be easy.

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PvP Drill 137th Mass PvP Event - The European Vacation, then Masturbation

They’re all in Schengen countries now. Looks like I’ll have to go play with myself.

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DOMESTIC - FOREIGN OFFICE UNDER FIRE FOR SIPHONING MORE MEMBERS FROM THE DOMESTIC DEPARTMENTS

Shadowhall is once again accused of siphoning and draining precious manpower from domestic members of the Company and not just Imperial Citizens to feed its ever expanding spheres of influence. The problems comes with the abuse of a loophole in which case the agents and operatives of Shadowhall are “exempt from regular duties when needed”.

Some of its adventures have been labelled as just that: adventures. Though the Foreign Office argues that they are essential to the advancement and security of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company as a whole and are indispensable. The Director heading Shadowhall presented the Director at Hill Guards with reports and “realities” to back up the claim that the Foreign Office has been generally positive to the UTC and its “adventures” should be allowed as is. Whatever manpower issues the Home Office is a Home Office problem and they should deal with it. Word.

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DOMESTIC - PRICE CHANGE?

Come on, guys. We haven’t changed our price in years. We’re literally like British Currency pre-1971. PRE-DECIMALIZED.

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DOMESTIC - LOCAL OLD MAN HIGH ON SKOOMA TERRORIZES SOUTH

Guess whose got a speed potion. Shit nigga.

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FINANCE - OH MY LORD MAKE THE MONEY STOP

Another promise of 250USD deal has been made. The incoming a mount of cash has not arrived yet but has only been promised.

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FINANCE - NEW INTERFACE NEEDS MORE WORK

Looks like Discord but then I think this shit needs more colors. Fucking hell. Guessing the guy working the front end is probably color blind.

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* **ORDERS:** *

1) Trade Run Completed. SOP.

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^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)