- HEADLINES: REBELS PUSHED OUT OF CASTLE COLE.
- EDITORIAL “The Stupid is a Disease”
- TRADE RUNS TRADE RUN SUCCESSFUL.
- DOMESTIC NEW CHALLENGE AND COUNTER
- DOMESTIC USER TECHNOSKULL LEAVES THE COMPANY.
- COMMUNITY: NOPE, STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON
- ENTERTAINMENT: WHOLEMILKLP RELEASES IRISHKAISER DIES, OUTTAKES AND LIVESTREAM
CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.
ENTERTAINMENT - NEW!
CAMP AFAYA, T.O. - After days of non-existent fighting, the Byzantines have retreated from Castle Cole to a new stronghold in the hills - effectively achieving the first objective of the Expedition’s mission.
Intelligence does not confirm if the Byzantines are just staying out of the Expedition’s way or actually were pushed out with the threat of “Millers” nearby. Company directory has evaluated that all rebels have dangerous tendencies and must be met with cautiously. Totanforce agent nehmna has been appointed by Irishkaiser to be the new Company GO of Legend’s group until further notice or a more suitable replacement is found within the Eastern ranks.
Certain opinions say that RealityTheory and FailedKey are good enough to form their own groups and they themselves becoming GOs of the Company. The directory still, however, believes it possible to restore complete control over its Eastern assets and sets formation of new groups aside until rebellion’s end.
Irishkaiser - The Stupid, commonly known as “derps” spreads from person to person like a disease. Contrary to popular belief which state that readers like you are immune from “the stupid”, it actually infiltrates the body after contact from another person contaminated with the disease and makes the contaminated person think he or she is right when in fact the motherfucker is dead wrong. Not one of us is immune to the stupid! Common symptoms may include -flaming, accusations without sufficient backup, paranoia, moodiness, unwarranted self-importance, dangerous attachment to things of no actual value(i.e. diamond swords), saying you’re ‘intelligent’, thinking you’re better than the next guy and gross exaggeration of numerics.
There is no cure, but there are ways to treat the stupid and we should all apply them to each other periodically. Firstly, we must remember that all of us are fundamentally equal - you are no better than the next guy, so do your part in reminding your “superior”(especially Irishkaiser) that what he’s been given is a RESPONSIBILITY and NOT A PRESTIGE - fair criticism and rational discourse must be used! Don’t easily back down from someone you think is wrong just because that person is “above” you, like say an admin, because dude, that’s pathetic. Secondly, stop fucking whining about your problems, Jesus Christ, I got problems too man, but fuck you if you think you’re the only one with them. Goddamn, I need another drink… Thirdly, it’s best to just ignore those who’re spreading the stupid to others! If someone’s provoking you, ignore them - don’t talk to them and no problems will come out of that. Heck, they might even stop since they’re not getting a reaction. If it’s really problematic, head to the nearest authority and then keep it to yourself. No need to spill it over to unnecessary threads, posts or other mediums. We must combat the stupid and treat it like a disease! All Company members must be healthy.
The Company’s caravans successfully delivered the supply of
3 Chain Sets
1 Full Iron Sword
1 Enchanted Sword
2 Infinity Bows
to Portsmouth and Romero for meager profit turnouts of
8 Potions(three of which were health IIs)
The caravan started in Yawpton with an initial strength of 5. It proceeded to Portsmouth where it encountered small pockets of leather bandits that were easily overpowered by the better-equipped Company personnel. Further travel Eastwards proved more dangerous than usual as bandits trying to take on the caravan had to be defeated or repelled and Company member fartabstract’s lag problems had unwantedly stopped the caravan on some occassions. The caravan made its last stop at Romero and sold off the last of its merchandise, even up to assisting a Night’s Watch crow with a free set of chain armor.
Company directory commended that all company members of the caravan(Totan and fartabstract) had kept standard discipline. A mercenary’s mention to TimeTraveler104, who assisted us previously, and player elerock8.
As effective today, Aspermont has declared the previous challenge and counter nulled. All Company GOs are obligated to spread the updated system within their own ranks or risk the threat of friendly fire amongst the Company members.
Player Technoskull is no longer affiliated with the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company since the end of the last Month(28th of Sun’s Dawn). A reminder to users that since the player is no longer obligated with Company benefits and assistance, all further services rendered to him must be purchased.
So uh yeah, the uh clan did this to another clan and what not and that guy did that to the other guy. And some random schmuck’s making treasure hunts or whatever. Goddamn, I don’t know what’s going on, OK? I don’t want to get contaminated with the stupid.
“Irishkaiser Dies” is a video, by well-known MineZ YouTuber WholeMilkLP, that was SUPPOSEDLY PRIVATE but somehow made its way public. Some say it’s a sequel to the Warped Ruins Dungeon but others say it’s more connected to Totan Dies as evidenced by the title.
“Catching Hackers Outtakes” shows the non-serious extra from the previous videos about Grimdale’s hacking problem with dark hints at WholeMilk’s inner bandit at the end. Features user MiniUSB.
“Minefanatics Livestream” confirms that the rumors were true…
ORDERS FOR THE WEEK:
1) Fartabstract is to gather 3 fully repaired chain sets for sale
2) glcclc2 must deliver the shipment of 4 infinity bows.
3) Trade run completed. All Company members are on leave(free to go wherever they want).
4) Legend’s group must still modernize with the Mumble VoIP program.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH.