HEADLINES: DONUT DAY INAUGURATED BY IRISHKAISER
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - In recognition of the bravery and peculiar skills and professionalism of the idolized and romanticized veteran members of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company, Irishkaiser proposed and later passed a day of honoring the senior members of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company who still stay true to the old ways of Honor, Self-Sacrifice and Straightforwardness codified in Company Chivalry.
We actually have no idea what the fuck to do with this day, but here’s an explanation and rationale:
```Last Trade Run, I have come again to experience the discipline, professionalism and unit cohesion that was once so great in many of our number long ago. In honor of their performance and to preserve what little true UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company culture we have left, I’d like to propose tomorrow be a Clan Holiday called Donut Day, taken from @Wolfgang von Seckendorff™ ’s nickname of Miller Merchant: “Debil Donut”, the alternative being Deviled Eggs, which is historically taken from a traditional nickname of the United States Marine Corps: the Devil Dogs.
Oo-zah, debil donuts.
EDITORIAL - HOW TO GET THROUGH MINEZ
Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius - Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man’s two hands, feet or eyelids, or the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature’s law – and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction.
TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Iron Armor Set
1 Iron Sword
3 Stacks of Bread
1 Depth Strider
in value exchange for
Buncha Food I can’t remember
Oo-fucking-zah. I haven’t had a trade run like this in a long-ass while. This has got to be the best trade run in forever. Why? Because the caravan was manned with mostly UTC veterans. I’m not going to document everything but I will tell you how I felt running this outfit.
I realized that too long I have taken for granted the discipline, professionalism and unit cohesion. It was always available to me back then and I didn’t think much of it because there was always a steady supply of White Regulars willing to form your shield wall. The mere presence of Oldguardsmen and Proper Bastards was enough of a morale boost that I could command and maneuver with confidence knowing that my orders and missions will be executed competently. Like that time we got attacked by premiums in the desert and we were able to pull off a Cannae.
I HAVEN’T DONE THAT MANEUVER IN A LONG ASS WHILE. HOLY SHIT. EXECUTED PERFECTLY… Well, almost. Not a lot can be controlled in a battle.
The old adage is true amongst us: “Give me one good regular, and I will show you the impossible. Give me a hundred premiums and I will show you a disaster.”
Following orders alone is not what makes true Company Members as a degree of dissent is allowed so as long as it is properly channeled in the chain of command such as a situation where the Trade Run Leader ordered the death of a premium but was immediately counter-manded by the Scout who passed on accurate information from which the caravan later sold items to.
Dawg. I am so moved by the fact that I was blessed, I didn’t knew what I had until it was gone.
TRADE - Common Market Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.
Power II Bows
Ah sugar sugar. Ah honey honey.
PvP Drill 147th Mass PvP Event - DUNGEON DISASTER
The Commonwealth Games' Dungeon Part of the Event taking place in Byesford Labs.
CYMRU/WALES - The Welsh Team came in more dressed for PvP than dungeons, carrying a grand total of 23 Splash IIs and about 5-6 Golden Apples in total. Being better geared proved critical to their survival in doing the dungeon as it was heavily zombie-horde centric. The Welsh team also probed and led the way when the dungeon group stopped repeatedly trying to find a way out and solved puzzles just before the button pigman room in which the CODE CHANGED.
The main weaknesses of the Welsh were their members' ONE WATER BOTTLE ONLY in their inventories. Thankfully, the dungeon run progressed to cauldrons. The long stops would have proved disastrous but no Welshman died in the dungeon attempt.
A critical moment came from the Welsh when one of their members went exploring to find a pressure plate to step on, but accidentally fell unto a horde of zombies. The Welshman shouted to his teammate who could do nothing but watch in vain as he tried to distract the zombies with bow shots. Thankfully, the splash inventories killed the zombies and saved the Welshman’s life who further explored the labs until reaching a dead-end.
The Dungeon Group later chose to do another dungeon when realized they were one man short and without a zombie bow began to escape. One Welshman ran in the WRONG ASS DIRECTION and almost got killed, but was saved by a member from Triple J who died in the valiant attempt while saving a fellow competitor.
Because none of Triple J survived the attempt, Wales who could still enter another dungeon to “settle” the matter won the Gold Medal.
TRIPLE J - Not as prepared as Wales, Triple J did at least have one experienced dungeoneer. Unfortunately, the Universe is a cruel woman and the experienced dungeoneer died first. Triple J’s stalls almost killed Cymru but unfortunately did not know that they could simply outlast their competitors.
Triple J proved critical in arrow rooms and certain pressure plate rooms, until the pigman code room where Triple J volunteered to input the code while Wales were to find the pressure plates and step on them. This proved disastrous as the code had changed and Triple J was stuck, taking a heavy beating from zombie pigmen. When it was discovered that they were one man short, regardless of figuring out the code, the group called for an evacuation. The surviving member of Triple J valiantly saved the life of their rivals who was being buttfuck retarded and not only ran in the wrong direction once, but twice. Being the second to the last survivors, Triple J earned a Silver Medal.
GOLD ARMOR/CHAMPIONS - The Universe was cruel as one man had wanted to do this dungeon for a long while. His teammates were unavailable, but he tried to go and tried he did. He had to go just as we were starting.
The other competitors recognized that he at least “tried” to go, so he deserved a medal. Bronze.
DOMESTIC - K-ARSENAL ADVERTISES IN COMMONWEALTH GAMES 2019
DOMESTIC - Leaderboards for the Games. UTC players win Gold and Silver.
FINANCE - I guess we never miss, huh?
[You got a clan bank I guess it doesn’t pay ya…[(https://external-preview.redd.it/GtA3guaUF2p66p-f_a3M9Fv453oNNrLNNBRaPX1ItGs.png?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=cb6ff19bc8109981662775fea76ff6ba1116aabb)
1) TRADE RUN NEXT WEEK
2) BRING HOME THE MEDALS
THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH