HEADLINES: HOME OFFICE TO BEGIN REFORMS AFTER FOREIGN SITUATION STABILIZED
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - The Home Office was given more resources and concentration later last week when the Foreign Office definitely proved to the Directory that the situation abroad has stabilized to the favor of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company, will begin to look inward now and bring the Company up to higher standards, inspired by many of the deviled eggs who once manned the ship of state.
The most pressing issue for the Company was people claiming they were Company Members or “UTC” when they were not, hijacking the title for themselves and sometimes misrepresenting the UTC abroad and people confusing them for the real UTC.
Originally, the Company did not care as it did not give a shit about what foreigners began to think of who is and who isn’t UTC, because who cares what a bunch of ignorant foreign premium savages think? But when people claim they’re Company Members when THEY’RE CLEARLY NOT within our OWN CIRCLES, that’s when it’s gone too far.
That’s when we know the discipline decay has gone too far, Gun, you cuck.
EDITORIAL - Will Bitcoin have a Future?
Irishkaiser - 2018 was a terrible year for Bitcoin and some say may no longer be viable as the market has finally judged Bitcoin for its true value. Many Bitcoin investors are amateurs, of course and this is expected as a lot of them are programmers with little idea for financial expertise or have any idea at all of WHAT MONEY IS and many more are a bunch of cunts who just got unto the Bitcoin bandwagon with no idea for both just because… Also they fall for one of the biggest amateur mistakes when it comes to investing: greed.
Whether or not Bitcoin has a future can go both ways and yes, I do believe it has a fair chance of failing in the future and being forgotten. But the idea of Bitcoin is something else completely and its legacy shall always be the employment of blockchain technology which is, undeniably, revolutionary and is a stepping stone to a future of cashless currency.
Some of you who are old enough to experience the rise of the internet may remember the old programs we used to use a lot. Here are but a few: Netscape, ICQ, XFire, AIM, Limewire.
But these are all forgotten and overshadowed, some of them gone forever such as XFire and Limewire. But their ideas never really left and was carried on today with many features being used and built from each other to form the services you know and love. Other than bitcoin, there are many other cryptocurrencies and each one appearing or disappearing as fast as fuark.
In the end we don’t really know. Maybe Bitcoin will be there… Maybe it won’t… But it will definitely be as groundbreaking as IRC rooms that will form the basis of our future idea of transactions and how we define value.
People are currently living in the Wild West of cryptocurrencies just like the Wild West of the internet days, but I’ve seen the Wild West of the Internet… It’s gonna end eventually. Enjoy it while you can, for the market is still CHAOS.
TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Iron Armor Set
1 Iron Sword
3 Stacks of Bread
1 Depth Strider
in value exchange for
Buncha Food I can’t remember
Oo-fucking-zah. I haven’t had a trade run like this in a long-ass while. This has got to be the best trade run in forever. Why? Because the caravan was manned with mostly UTC veterans. I’m not going to document everything but I will tell you how I felt running this outfit.
I realized that too long I have taken for granted the discipline, professionalism and unit cohesion. It was always available to me back then and I didn’t think much of it because there was always a steady supply of White Regulars willing to form your shield wall. The mere presence of Oldguardsmen and Proper Bastards was enough of a morale boost that I could command and maneuver with confidence knowing that my orders and missions will be executed competently. Like that time we got attacked by premiums in the desert and we were able to pull off a Cannae.
I HAVEN’T DONE THAT MANEUVER IN A LONG ASS WHILE. HOLY SHIT. EXECUTED PERFECTLY… Well, almost. Not a lot can be controlled in a battle.
The old adage is true amongst us: “Give me one good regular, and I will show you the impossible. Give me a hundred premiums and I will show you a disaster.”
Following orders alone is not what makes true Company Members as a degree of dissent is allowed so as long as it is properly channeled in the chain of command such as a situation where the Trade Run Leader ordered the death of a premium but was immediately counter-manded by the Scout who passed on accurate information from which the caravan later sold items to.
Dawg. I am so moved by the fact that I was blessed, I didn’t knew what I had until it was gone.
TRADE - Common Market Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.
Power II Bows
Ah sugar sugar. Ah honey honey.
PvP Drill 148th Mass PvP Event - STRATEGY SKILL AND STUPIDITY
The Commonwealth Games' PvP Part of the Event taking place in FOREST.
The first Fighters from Cymru/Wales and Gold/Armor champions were geared well, with the former containing 16 Splash IIs. Gold Armor/Champions had a measly 7 Splash IIs. Both armed with Diamond Swords and Power II Bows, it would seem that the fight would be in favor of the Welsh by pure gear and PvP skill level which is very comparable to his opponent.
Unfortunately, the round was quick and relatively fast and ENDED IN A VICTORY FOR THE GOLD ARMOR/CHAMPIONS. How? Well, at first it did seem that the Welsh were winning and the Champion seemed like he was going to lose, having him on the edge… But the Welshman got overconfident and kept pressing forward FORGETTING TO SPLASH.
The Champion noticed this and realized all he had to do was crit him out after splashing, thus killing the Welshman and winning for his team a decent amount of splashes to help him fight his next opponent. Death by brainfart to the Welsh.
Occurring simultaneously another Champion and Welsh fight was taking place nearby, with both combatants using unorthodox tactics, but the Welshman had 9 Splash IIs. This fight lasted much MUCH longer due to the use of cobwebs, flash grenades and slowness potions used deploying multiple unconventional strategies.
The Champion staked out the area before the match and brought four cobwebs. to close himself off in a building when the Welshman got the upperhand.
Against the first line of cobwebs, the Welshman had his own secret weapons and launched a flash grenade blinding the Champion who could not see the Welsh advance, but the Welshman was stopped in his tracks by ANOTHER LINE OF COBWEBS. Both sides began staking each other out for a couple of minutes, but the Welshman was a better marksman and killed the Champion through superior gunnery skills, because with little room to move around the Champion’s fortress became a trap
The surviving champions from both sides opened the fight with a half-hearted bow battle with multiple misses and few hits for both sides. Matching each other hit for hit, running back and forth and kiting each other, no side wanted to commit to a fight as no one knew what inventory the other had.
After facing against the previous Welsh champion, armed by KAISER ARSENAL, the Champion was wary of another 16 Splash II inventory and kept his distance, when in reality the Welshman had only 9 Splash IIs and was wary of the captured splashes from his fallen teammate.
Every advance was met with counter-attack and retreat and another counter-attack from both sides. Feeling each other out. The prolonged fight drained the Champion’s splash advantage but still had him lead with a margin of 3 Splash IIs.
The Welshman countered every sugar with a slowness splash and threw off the Champion’s flanks with flash grenades, throwing four flash grenades in this entire fight. As every attack was blunted, the Welshman was able to rely on a Lone Sword to keep him in the fight and could afford to buy time.
Then the Welshman had an idea… He retreated into the fortress that his previous opponent set up and began to take pot shots at the Champion… THUS TURNING HIS OPPONENT’S STRATEGY AGAINST THEM. A psychological battle then took place as both sides taunted the other into coming out and attacking with bluffs and threats. The Champion then launched FREDBOAT to play earrape music to see if he would be distracted long enough against his opponent, but the Welshman did not flinch and listened to it for a good 5-8 minutes before finally judging he had enough space between them to turn down the volume, thus rendering the distraction plan moot.
Due to the stalemate, a long lull with a couple of bow shots periodically began to take place with the Welsh grimly determining to hold the fortress and not repeat the mistakes of his previous opponent. Time at this point was on the Champions' side, but he did not know that the Welshman only had a LIMITED water supply. If the Champion pointed this out, the Welshman would yield and accept defeat, but he didn’t.
So attempts were made to wither each other’s health down, but the Welshman had a Lone Sword so he could take the hits while the Champion had to splash or drink to heal himself.
When the Champion said that he could “do this all night.” The Welshman said “It is a battle of determination then.”. The Champion immediately began to concoct a plan, oblivious to the fact that the Welshman would surrender once his water supply ran out.
The Champion hopped servers and began to infiltrate, pretending to still be there with Shotbow’s delayed leaving of players on the online tab to his advantage. Managing to sneak in and take on the enemy by surprise the Welshman spotted him in time to fight on an equal footing and threw him into a cobweb where the Champion ferociously tried to keep him away with intense clicking. The Welshman at this point used up all his splashes and was using a lone sword to heal himself began to drain the Champion with sustained bow fire and sword play.
The Champion however was successful in bringing himself out of a bind and retreated to cover. A grenade shot from the Welshman though re-arranged the cobwebs and TRAPPED THE CHAMPION, thus severely limiting his options with both sides once again caught in a room to room bow fight that can be describe as akin TO STALINGRAD.
However the strategic reality had changed and the Champion no longer had access to water with the Welshman still controlling the limited water supply room in the house. The Welshman however realized that it could still go any way at this point and was scared as fuck, so he pointed out that the Champion technically did an illegal move by logging out and then asked the question: “Do you still want to do this?”
The Champion realized his options were few and wanting to save whatever inventory he had left, the Champion yielded and said “Yeah, I’m disqualified anyway. WELP, THAT WAS A WASTE OF A SPLASH INVENTORY.”
Victory by Dumb Luck, I guess.
DOMESTIC - 1ST REGIMENT AND VOLUNTEERS PERFORMS RECCE OPERATIONS TO FORMALLY ASSES MINEZ UPDATE
An elite detachment of the 1st Regiment and volunteers from Imperial Citizen to non-Regimented Company Members began to document and recce areas of importance last weekend. The findings that prove beneficial to the UTC are kept a secret but here are a bunch of non-important information that nobody would care to ever know ever again.
1) Roads are inefficient and not properly used by anyone who plays this game. This stems from the fact that the placement of roads is made by someone who does not know how roads work or how they should function. The end result of roads is to make it faster and easier to move from one place to another. The MineZ roads achieved nothing. New players may use them however because why the fuck not.
2) Around 5-6PM EST onwards, heavy amounts of lag permeate the servers. This seems to only happen on the weekends of Saturday/Sunday and is rare to encounter on the weekdays.
3) Possible friendly civilization/community made contact with. Did not press the issue due to being on duty, but at least there’s some people worth fighting for in this game… I hope.
DOMESTIC - Leaderboards for the Games.
FINANCE - Prepping for Clan Bank Holiday
SAVE YOUR MONEY. INVEST PROPERLY. DON’T FALL FOR THE GET RICH QUICK MENTALITY. THAT IS HOW WE CELEBRATE.
1) TRADE RUN NEXT WEEK
2) BRING HOME THE MEDALS
THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH