HEADLINES: JOINT WESTERLANDS-VIRTUES INDUSTRIES TO NO LONGER BE SHARED
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - Another secret project that the UTC wished to share with the rest of Shotbow Community out of altruism has been turned down for public release on account of everyone’s previous conduct when the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company released a MineZ Discord Bot, made by GunOverdose, a trusted and honourable member of the game with no malicious intent.
False accusations of spyware against UTC’s MineZ Discord Bot abounded and the Company decided to “let them wallow in their own filth” which was great when “their” own Discord bot turned out to have spyware and blew up in their faces.
Gott Mit Uns.
EDITORIAL - Consistent Life
Irishkaiser - A recent independent movie called Unplanned was… Actually, it’s late and I’ve been up doing multiple things out of duty but mostly foppery and whim.
TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run
The Directory proudly announces that it has cancelled the trade run for leisure weekends
TRADE - Common Market Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.
Iron Armor Sets
Power II Bows
The largest exchange by in terms of not just variety but amounts. Huge numbers of goods and labor went back and forth between members of the Common Market. This is not expected to sustain because the initial burst had a huge chunk of it made to support establishing “country clubs”.
PvP Drill 154th Mass PvP Event - Country Club Goes on Crusading
The Order of Brothers of the Regular House of St.Veracity in Aspermont and Grimdale tried to go on a burning Crusade in the South to purge banditry or known geared dicks, but encountered only friendly people so far, which is frustrating. Most of the bandit dicks were leathers or naked, not worth the knight brothers' attempt at going over there and kicking ass.
There were only one or two people in the South that were bandit dicks and considered geared enough to have been worth the effort but they were like freaking majority chain with some iron instead of full iron dicks. More “geared” personnel were found further mid-map and a bit further North killing two, sparing one and meeting a friendly fourth, though this was only done by the Knights of Aspermont as the Grimdale Chapter had to go.
Boy, did everyone lose their iron armor or something?
DOMESTIC - IRISHKAISER WANTS POOL OUT OF FOPPERY AND WHIM
Last week, Irishkaiser in the Discord out of nowhere stated:
Spyware™04/08/2019 You guys know what we need We need a pool We need a pool here in the UTC Yeah, that's what we need
Plans and estates were put for review as to where best to place a pool out of foppery and whim.
DOMESTIC - LOCAL OLD MAN WANTS TO SELL 8 VAMPYRS
Looks like he won storage wars.
DOMESTIC - COMBAT OPERATIVE REPRIMANDED FOR SPARING LIFE DESPITE GENERAL ORDERS
An operator was reprimanded last week during maneuvers when freed UTC personnel on leisure participated in the defense of a dungeon run against premiums. The cause against him was that he saw an enemy cowering in Frostbain Church while UTC forces attacked his bandit friend. The operative, NICKNAMED DESMOND DOSS, reasoned that UTC doctrine emphasized precision and that unnecessary collateral damage was to be minimized if possible as targets were only against those that were proven hostiles.
Earlier however, the general orders were that everyone in the area not having an IFF was declared hostile and that any moral issue was to be borne solely by higher command. If innocents were caught, higher command would compensate and apologize to them, but so as long as they were in the area at that time, they were considered fair kills.
If the operative would’ve followed orders, the Company would have gained 4 Iron Armor Sets, 2-3(? - due to a report of repairing a diamond sword captured in the field) Diamond Swords and 2 Lone Swords, quickly and decisively.
Irishkaiser personally told the boy:
“There was a boy who got hit with an artillery shell. His left arm and leg blown off. His eye dangling on his cheek, crying out for his mommy. So I shot him. I had to…”
The operative said what and the old man simply replied “There was a job to be done, and you’d just go on and do it…” he then proceeded to snore after periodic relapses back into Vietnam.
DOMESTIC - boogaert’s conversation with defeated enemies spark warnings of IP thieves and DDoSers
boogaert who helped participate in the maneuver was harassed by his vanquished opponent seen on Discord as “Alfa”. This was expected from the premiums but during their taunting and challenges, Discord User “Alfa” attempted to bait boogaert into giving his IP on their server in order to, as suspected, DDoS him directly or by proxy.
Something something. Premlets. When will they ever learn.
DOMESTIC - CARRIER BEACHED TO BECOME ASPERMONT KNIGHTS' DEPOT
Hail corkmaster, the master of the cork. He knows which wine goes with fish or pork.
FINANCE - Market Stabilized
1) FIGURE OUT OUR IMPORT EXPORT BALANCE.
^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)