HEADLINES: ETERNAL VACATION PASSED UNTIL SHOTBOW GETS ITS SHIT TOGETHER

ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - The most astounding beneficial contribution of the 29th Regiment of Whitehaven, Eternal Vacation, has been warmly received by Company Members especially those who are non-Americans as they can finally have a more consistent sleep schedule.

MineZ patterns now include farm for like an hour before the server crashes and they can finally catch up on trades that were postponed last time due to having more free time. MineZ has gone back to basics, though laggy for some members. Certain individuals have voiced concerns that this may irreversibly change the UTC if MineZ becomes stable again with new patterns and schedules that may conflict with the old returning conditions. All the Directory can say is: “We Adapt.”

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EDITORIAL - Suck on this.　　

Boyevaya Mashina - John Lennon Should’ve Just Easily Tried To Imagine There Was No .38 Special Loaded With Hollow Point Rounds Aimed At His Torso, But He Didn’t, And Now He’s In The Hell Below Us And Not In The Heaven Above Us

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EDITORIAL - Nihil Nocet Nobis　　

Irishkaiser - Nihil Nocet Nobis. Nothing can harm us. Few remember the clan’s motto that has served as its philosophy through the years. No matter the adversity, no matter the obstacle and no matter the problems, the clan endures, triumphs and is generally better off than the other fake premium groups because Nothing Can Harm Us.

Throughout the years, we have achieved position after position of strength to strength. Always coming out better and on top over all others who fade and dither. Is it pure grace or the power of will? Sometimes it is either or both where the winds of the universe give us both opportunity and recovery and as when all seemed against us, we have beaten the opposition. The wise among us say we did not win by ourselves, rather our enemies defeated themselves. That much may be true for according to Sun Tzu:

“To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.”

And look at us now. Three separate communities(four if we count reddit somewhat) united under common association with the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company while the others bicker amongst themselves. We have true and real MineZ with us. Players nobody knows. While the fucking worthless premiums consider only those “famous” to be “MineZ”. They’re shortsighted fools who kill the game. Still, it can be a double-edged sword.

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TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run

The Directory proudly announces that it has cancelled the trade run due to Spring Break.

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TRADE - Common Market Trade

The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

Buttons

Cake

Iron Armor Pieces

Hoe

Bandage

Water Bottle

Lots of catching up to do, last week was fulfilled. This week is here.

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PvP Drill 158th Mass PvP Event - Vas

A bit raggy.

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DOMESTIC - DRILL SERVER PLUGINS REVAMPED

Developers of the MineZ Drill Server have stated that since nobody gives a flying fuck about Shotbow anymore, they will “think outside the box” and will no longer be bound to being close to MineZ as possible. Fuck MineZ they said.

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DOMESTIC - SPECIAL EXPORT PROJECT TO COMMONWEALTH MEMBERS HALTED DUE TO MINEZ FUCKING UP

I mean, what’s the fucking point because it keeps crashing. Maybe the Universe is answering for this since it’ll be so fucking good, it attempts to stop it by NOT GIVING IT A PURPOSE.

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FINANCE - Ang Subo Sa Tuod Ka Hina Gidya

Any moment now, this trade war will end.

**ORDERS:**

1) LEISURE WEEK NEXT WEEK

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^{THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH}