HEADLINES: BOONUT TESTIFIES BEFORE COURT. VOTES NO BUT OVERTURNED BY DEMOCRACY
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - boonut turned himself in last week to reconfirm his vote. After being escorted by guards to reconfirm his vote, the 29th Captain said it was “no” for certain, causing an uproar among the obese and senile senators wearing wigs and robes.
When order was restored, boonut was asked to defend himself and explain his reasoning. The old premium said that his kind was being driven to extinction and that there are only few conservation areas left for his species. This was due to the proliferation of normie memes in the 93rd, his own bastard grandchildren, and the abhorrent Zalgoposting by the 1st Regiment, his own friends and guardians that enjoyed his company and praised him before. Causing even more of an uproar and fingerpointing in the Assembly.
“THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU JUST STOPPED SPAMMING FUCKING GARFIELD, JOE.” a senator accused
“I ENJOYED DRIVING HIS MEMES TO EXTINCTION! I HATE BIODIVERSITY! HISS!” Joe hissed like a snake.
As the Assembly was deadlocked in confirming a membership, there were still a myriad pool of members that kept to the fence… One of them, simply stood up and said “My Lords! My Lords..!” he began.
The Assembly silenced out of respect for the man none other than the Right Honourable Boyevaya Mashina. The senator from the Westerlands regiment then gave out a speech
“MUP DA DOO DIDDA PO MO GUB BIDDA BE DAT TUM MUHFUGEN BIX NOOD COF BIN DUB HO MUHFUGGA”
The crowd was moved and the regimental was granted Membership, but people will remember boonut’s defense prompting a legislation of environmental conservation of native species and natural treasures.
EDITORIAL - MineZ Values
Irishkaiser - Certain old players in MineZ have noticed and expressed disgust with the pattern of values people who play MineZ have but never directly related it to maybe the game or games they were conditioned to play. Do video games teach us to be violent? No, I play video games. There are even healers in this game… Some to the point of radicalism that is also terrible, but the fact remains that games do help sort of condition us due to reward and punishment mechanisms that tell you constantly which actions are “wrong” and which actions are “right”.
Let us return to MineZ a game with punishing “death”. Now, in real life death is permanent and thus the best survival tactic societies gradually have come up with is live and let live while of course maintaining one’s own ability for defense. Over time, we were able to limit warfare and develop diplomacy and negotiation as tools of civilization, while the psychopaths in the human population realized that living by the sword tended to die by the sword. The all-conquering people eventually tended to… I don’t know, DIE PREMATURELY and we have found balance in-between.
Now MineZ… MineZ somehow radicalizes both and instead of the decent modern human balance we have today, it has polarized the views to those psychopaths “bandits” and sociopath “healers”.
This is because death is not permanent and that this somehow is enough to destroy decent values. It’s OK to kill them, they’re not really dead. It’s OK to let myself be killed all the time, I’m not really dead.
Yes, these are game mechanics but… Somehow they got spilled over to the values people have in this game. The constant betrayals and ambitions of individuals here who now put the value on items rather than on the people themselves being acted on.
And… In a strange polarized radical way… The vanity and ego of the people who insists they aren’t bandits putting ideological radicalism as their primary goal at the expense of others, promoting such vaunted religion blinding them to the truth.
Because nobody really dies, it’s OK to be a dick in this game? I have seen some people take it to real life which really appalled me but somehow they shift back into being friends again..? What? Huh?
Truly, the only way these people must learn is to die for real, am I right guys? Alright, mount up. deploy in zero-dark-thirty. How copy?
TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run
The Directory proudly announces that it cancelled the trade run for Leisure Week
TRADE - Common Market Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.
1 Golden Apple
A bunch of splashes
Rented out Storage
Apparently we’re a storage and warehouse company now.
PvP Drill 162nd Mass PvP Event - THE NOT KNIGHTS.
Commonwealth and Imperial Citizens went out on a NOT CRUSADE last week looking for a fight, because they dropped all pretenses of being nice just to get a fight. Their experience reported back to the UTC have actually been pretty similar to the ones we’ve been receiving all the time in that the equipment quality has been so devalued that even full chain is totally fine for PvP and that since the gains or lost is in favor of chain fighters recovering iron fighters' gear, it is in general too much effort to fully gear if you are sufficiently skilled enough.
DOMESTIC - WARGAMES FEARED TO BE INCENTIVE-DRIVEN BY SUGGESTION
Wargame plannings have been noted to be increasingly incentivized with rewards making mini competitions, with legendaries being the prizes. This was called out by senior officers who pointed out that it would be foolish to turn Wargaming into events based out of pure fun or competition as that the true essence and purpose of War Games are lessons to be learned and simulations to be practiced in the most realistic MineZ scenarios possible.
The senior officers outlined their fears of having a fun-based wargames would institutionalize the following
1) It will be incentive-driven and teach Company participants that war is expected to have rewards.
2) It will teach them that war is fun when the advantage of doing war games is that WAR IS NOT FUN and prepares the Company to function in war which is NOT FUN.
3) Being a competition makes them think everything has an “even” playing field when realistic scenarios are asymmetrical most of the time with some people having better gear, numbers or some people having better skill, online times and vice versa.
The senior officer then gave out his suggested plan for the next war games with an evil smile. Another officer read it over and was like
“This is not war, sir! This is abuse! These are human rights violations!”
to which the Senior Officer replied “They may cut your dick in half, and serve it to a pig. And though it hurts you’ll laugh and dance a dickless jig! BUT THAT’S THE WAY IT GOES, IN WAR YOU’RE SHAT UPON.”
DOMESTIC - COMMONWEALTH MEMBERS OFFENDED OVER LGBT PRIDE IN SHOTBOW LOBBY
They really made the world a better place, didn’t they. Good going, fags. They sure got their priorities straight.
DOMESTIC - 93RD TOURNAMENT COMPLETED. LOCAL BLACK GUY BRAGS ABOUT IT TO HOME SECRETARY
The 93rd Completed its tournament about doing tons of dungeons amounting about 40 dungeon attempts in one week. Local black guy argues for reparations and showing the white upper class people that 93rd is back on track ya dig, dontcha my nigga.
Most people were apathetic. Some critics however have the sentiment of “Quantity does not equal quality” and that repetitive actions make them tools not the kind of functioning, free-thinking rational individual with initiatives that is the standard of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company.
DOMESTIC - PILLOCK OF A REGIMENTAL BECOMES A COMPANY MEMBER
HONESTLY, MINISTER. NOW WE ACTUALLY GAVE THEM POWER… AND THE RESPECT. WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU EXPECT. NEXT THING YOU KNOW HE’S GOING TO TELL US TO DRIVE HYBRID CARS AND WHAT NOT. REALLY, MINISTER.
FINANCE - BANK GETS INCREASINGLY LAZY
OK so get this, right. Someone wanted to withdraw money to pay some bills and debts, but instead of me going through the proper hoops I decided to just pay it off myself. Yes, that’s right. That’s how lazy I got. Instead of taking the proper money from the proper sources I just paid it myself because I considered it too much effort to walk to the bank, withdraw money and write the report.
1) LEISURE WEEK NEXT WEEK
THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH