HEADLINES: LOCAL MAN PRAISES VETERANS FOR 200TH TIME

ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - Veteran Company Members joined last week’s trade run, inspiring Irishkaiser for the hundreth time, promising to give them a footrub. Some ideas heard by non-UTC veterans however deemed them too extreme for simple mistakes as defined by this generation were insisted to be treated with “Summary Execution” by the veteran, causing consternation with the newer population as it appeared that a lot of things they did should have equalled death.

The debate was taken to twitter calling the veteran a fossil because of his “archaic” ideas and ways. The veteran took awhile to figure out how to work twitter and gave up after discovering the internet.

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EDITORIAL - I got nuffen　　

Irishkaiser - I spent two whole days looking at it. So here’s RisingThumb’s documentary instead

The smart thing to do would have been to take the transcript and place it here fixing all the grammar but it’s too late now.

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TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run

The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered

1 Iron Armor Set

1 Legendary Swords and Bows

2 Iron Axes

1 Iron Sword

in value exchange for

20 Health Potions

Really fun trade run that was up to standards in a long ass while. Also, customers were plenty… Enough. At least. At the end of the trade run however when Irishkaiser lagged out, people forgot to inform the veteran that NPCs are vulnerable to being killed even by bandages and shears.

Someone used to the OLD days though it was smart to “heal” a low heart NPC. He apologized profusely and petitioned to commit seppuku. Irishkaiser came because he hadn’t heard a sincere apology in a long ass while.

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TRADE - Common Market Trade

The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

Iron Armor

Power II Bow

Legendary Swords and Bows

Buttons

Food

Milk

ENDER EYE

Mirkuuu mirkuuu

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PvP Drill 168th Mass PvP Event - Poke Him, Damn it.

Local man asked to learn multiple opponent combat and got the worst of it. Also bringing certain veterans up to speed. The people on the OPFOR learned to coordinate as a team.

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DOMESTIC - LOCAL MAN DISTRIBUTES COUNTER-STRIKE DOCUMENTARY

It sounds like a murder mystery documentary but don’t tell him that.

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FINANCE - GIMME A HUNDO

A HUNDO A WEEK.

**ORDERS:**

1) TRADE RUN NEXT WEEK.

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^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)