HEADLINES: MEMBERS OF ASSEMBLY ASSAULTS ONE ANOTHER OVER MONOPOLY BOARDGAME

ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - The rambling drunkards that run our country have once again insulted our proud democratic institutions by subjecting the Imperial Assembly as a frat house party. The event initially started wherein one Company Member mistook the Assembly as Hill Guards told everyone how he could not attend one event because he would be playing Monopoly. A Right Honourable began pointing him to the correct chat room. An elected member of assembly took great offense and began to launch an insulting tirade at the Right Honourable for playing Monopoly, which he deemed as a horrible game.

The conversation immediately blew up as the Members of Assembly from the Westerlands regiment began arguing about table top simulators. One Member of Assembly from the Virtues Regiment even joined in. The debate eventually resulted in the Right Honourable Irishkaiser suggesting that Go was superior to Chess.

It feels good to be UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company.

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EDITORIAL - Putting too much trust in Authority.　　

Irishkaiser - When a doctor, teacher or scientist tells you something, you would most likely believe it. Why? I don’t know. They’re experts or something. But even in the realms of science, there are still doubts and conflicting results even in the 21st Century. A few months ago I took a medical check-up to evaluate my health, placing myself under scrutiny of doctors and medical officials. I am no expert in medicine, however I have kept track in medical developments and picked up a few things here and there.

After acquiring a datasheet of my current evaluation, in which my bad cholesterol was only marginally higher and my good cholesterol was marginally lower, I’ve took it up to a doctor for interpretation. The doctor immediately advised me to take regular medicine. Something in the back of my mind thought this was overkill and I argued. Yes, I argued in front of the doctor. I told him that this could be changed with a more proper diet and exercise. He did concede of course that yes, that may happen… But for now I must take prescription and insisted on it.

Most people would take the side of the doctor at that moment since I’m not a certified expert in any field of medicine. But I just knew that somehow, it was just “wrong”. Seeing that we were both adamant in our positions, I promptly on the same day decide to seek out second and or third opinions. The second opinion of another doctor promptly said that yes, more proper diet and exercise was alright, but never insisted on the prescriptions, promptly saying “That’s up to you.”

Still, the manner of being told “It’s up to me” isn’t sufficient as it can be interpreted passively. However, it was against insistence on prescription medicine and now the medical opinion was tied 1-1. The third opinion I decided to make it solid. I decided to go to a leading doctor who was President of the Philippine Heart Association for interpretation. Upon seeing it, he simply said “This is literally nothing to worry about. Just eat and work out better if you want, but bodies are different so this may be normal for you even for all I know unless I go in-depth to your medical history.”

And upon showing him the prescription the first doctor supplied, he was like “Lol. This dude is hardcore.”

He explained that the benefits of taking prescription at my status and age wouldn’t be worth it for the possible side effects that the doctor prescribed to me. I put out the possibility that maybe he was of the same opinion and just gave me a placebo so I wouldn’t worry about anything and probably to get me to shut up. He then looked me in the eye and said “This isn’t a placebo, man. This is real strong medicine. I don’t advise you take it AT ALL at this stage.”

He then proceeded to uselessly tell me to start eating more good cholesterol, by using the expensive foods such as salmon, avocado, etc.

I came back two weeks later with a new diet and discovered that while my bad cholesterol went to normal levels, my good cholesterol… Was still the same of being marginally lower. Huh, maybe he should’ve told me about MORE foods instead of the usual expensive ones. Or maybe that’s just on me. I could’ve done a simple google search but didn’t, because I probably wanted some big overseeing gubmint doctor to tell me exactly what to eat and what to drink. Huh, imagine that…

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TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run

The Directory proudly announces that it has cancelled trade run for leisure week.

Actually, a bunch of fuckers wanted to do trade run again, but the Universe put a stop to them, giving Irishkaiser a time to rest and start jerking off to old nudes of MineZ girls.

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TRADE - Common Market Trade

The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

Chain Armor Pieces

Power II Bow

Warehouse Storage

Looks like I got that Diamond Sword back as storage.

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PvP Drill 171st Mass PvP Event - Nuffen

Let me sleep.

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DOMESTIC - ***KAISER ARSENAL PITCHES ADDITIONAL IDEAS FOR NEW INDUSTRIES. In a Steve Jobs moment, President of Kaiser Arsenal pitches to Virtues Industries and Pi Works ltd. of one major ambitious project. No, not that one. The other one. Yes.

Difficulties involve lots of work, and lots of resources and trial and error. But think of the possibilities. If completed, it would be the third key addition to the new industries, putting the UTC miles ahead as the first two are easily achievable once known. The third one, by pure difficulty may be the equivalent of a space race wherein we’ve already reached the moon and the others are… Still only launching rockets at each other.

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FINANCE - COCONUT CRABS DISCOVERED IN VERGATH’S BACKYARD

A bunch of coconut crabs wandered into Veracity’s backyard last week. Initially shooed away, it was then discovered that Coconut Crabs are delicacies that can fetch a high price abroad, especially amongst Pacific Island nations. Filipinos however don’t eat much coconut crab and thus no major industry has popped up.

After discovering this, Veracity and Spyware began searching for the crab.

**ORDERS:**

1) PEOPLE WANTED A TRADE RUN AGAIN THIS WEEK BUT IT’S LEISURE WEEK SO I’LL LET THEM DECIDE.

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^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)