HEADLINES: BLOC FORMS TO CREATE MALE AND FEMALE SELFIES AND NUDES CHANNEL.
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - Irishkaiser, inspired by Studio Spark, otherwise known as the redmatzoo Discord, started going door to door to build up support for selfies and nudes channel. Two notable Company Members were actually quite supportive of it, with many preferring not to say their real opinions.
One Company Member from the Westerlands District, Governor Shrauger, was firmly opposed slandering the movement as an “Old man asking teens on the streets for nudes”.
Hurt and offended, Irishkaiser stated that the opposition just wanted them to sound bad because he was actually a:
“Sex positive activist looking to advance the liberation of the body - see, I can do it too[sic]… I’m advertising, bitch. I can sell you slavery or this pen right here and you wouldn’t even wonder why it costs what I say it costs.[sic]”
Someone from the opposition later told him to make sure he “doesn’t kill himself, Jeffrey Epstein.”
Many say it’s to trap all the chicks Irishkaiser has recently met the past three months(DON’T WORRY, THEY’RE ALL AMERICAN GRADE LEGAL), but he counters that there’s male selfies too… Which, according to his research is actually more wholesome than female_selfies channel he saw on the Studio Spark discord.
EDITORIAL - I’ve gotta work on Christmas Breakfast
Irishkaiser - Alright cya guys.
TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run
The Directory proudly announces that it has cancelled Trade Run for the Christmas Holidays.
TRADE - US MineZ EU Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
in value exchange for
TRADE - Common Market Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.
I’m on vacation.
PvP Drill 173rd Mass PvP Event - It’s Christmas, what do you expect me to do?
DOMESTIC - NEW INDUSTRIES MARKET EXPANDS
The New Industries expanded its market post-Christmas party, showcasing the new products to more people, which were well-received, prompting one customer to say:
“I never knew I needed this until now”.
DOMESTIC - END OF YEAR MAGAZINE EDITION? JOURNALISTS RIOT
We’re on our Christmas break, but fine. If you want to make a special end of year magazine edition for the Empire Newspaper, sure… As long as maybe after the first week of next year.
DOMESTIC - NEWSPAPER MISTAKE. THERE WAS NO TRADE RUN. THERE HAS BEEN NO TRADE RUN.
Last week the Newspaper wrongly stated it was trade run next week. Apparently, the journalists were all too eager for Christmas break and left without completing the papers. The Empire Newspaper apologizes to those who actually did attempt it or messaged when or where it was.
Yeah, my bad.
DOMESTIC - POST CHRISTMAS STUFF THAT NEEDS TO BE REFILLED
This is just for future notice.
*Diamond Sword Alt
*Splash Potion and Golden Apple Alt
Note to Future Self: Some alts need water ASAP.
FINANCE - FINANCIAL MEETING RESULTS IN TWO GUYS JUST IGNORING IT
The Emergency Meeting regarding on what to do for the predicted 2020 Slowdown took five seconds and basically went like this:
Spyware: Ok what we gonna do with the Global Economic Slowdown 2020
Veracity: cash at hand wins in times of crisis
Spyware: Right that settles it.
FINANCE - US-PRC TRADE WAR MIGHT END? CLAN BANK SAYS DON’T EXACTLY COUNT ON IT
Recently, the United States and the People’s Republic of China have agreed on limiting the Trade War resulting in China acquiescing to buying more American agricultural goods in exchange to stop new tariffs in phased agreements. This did not solve any of the core issues, but the issues of Hong Kong and Xinjiang have forced the Communist Chinese government to not over-extend itself. As a result of this short-term compromise, stocks in recent weeks have been slightly higher, especially in the US markets.
Uncertainty however still plagues the rest of the world and the core issues of the Trade War have not exactly been resolved - especially since new issues have arisen over them since then.
1) NO TRADE RUN NEXT WEEK. ___
^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)