^(HEADLINES)

    EDITORIAL

    TRADE

    DRILLS

    DOMESTIC

    FINANCE

    ORDERS

    ___

    HEADLINES: NEHMNA REVEALS SON

    ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - To make up for last week’s headlines, the Empire Newspaper will run what would have been the actual Headlines last week for this week.

    Company Veteran Nehmna posted in Buffalo-Wings street weeks ago announcing the arrival of his son, George Arthur.

    When interviewed, he said:

    “Fatherhood is..interesting. He’s amazing man, though truthfully the baby stage isn’t as fun as I know it will be when he can start talking and communicating with something other than crying.”

    Indicating that he knows it won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it if he pulled it off. Later, Irishkaiser ignored nehmna completely pretending he was dead and then approached his son, gave him a medal and said “This belonged to your father, ARTIE.”

    Nehmna could be heard in the background saying “Oh what the fuck.”

    Oxfords, not Brogues.

    ___

    HEADLINES: SELFIE-BAR IMPLEMENTED

    ARBRETON, WESTERLANDS - The selfie chatroom was implemented considering there was not a lot of opposition but rather abstains. The legal mangling of the channel however specifically targeted the obvious plans for Irishkaiser to turn it into a sex den, by adding in general United States Federal Decency Laws as interpretations for what counts as obscene, the legal term for “NSFW”, thus making it exempt for the free speech protections of the Clan in General.

    This is compromise. Nobody is happy but we get what we want because this is what we voted for. Remember that.

    A compromise allowed was an advertisement that all NSFW may be PM’d to Irishkaiser privately as an individual . That’s it. Evidently, Irishkaiser who proposed it and gathered support for the channel was disappointed in the results, posting in a sticky

    “The Selfie-Bar is a government front attempt by Irishkaiser to harvest nudes of all potential chicks in the future. Unfortunately, the attempt was legally mangled in West-Ministry and is placed under implementation of rules based on United States Federal Decency Laws.”

    The rise of the selfie-bar has also fueled conversation between supporters of a memes channel. However, unlike the selfie-chat, the memes channel has staunch opposition on varied grounds of maintaining a higher level of public dialogue in the clan, freedoms of posting(anti-categorization), group consensus on what counts as “comedy”, etc. etc.

    As of this writing, so far the pro-memes party’s arguments are… Nothing really except “I Support”. Ironic.

    Oh wait, someone finally said something that can be somewhat considered valid:

    “I don’t think memes chat degrades the quality of conversation as a whole.”

    Ok, so more of a counter belief than a belief. But, valid enough? I guess.

    Democracy, am I right?

    ___

    EDITORIAL - A Single Word  

    Irishkaiser - Two years ago. It was two years ago that certain events set into motion by an organization has culminated last week. A single conversation was all it took, a single word, and we let time and the machinations of the universe do the rest.

    Though we did not have high hopes for it, we still did it as a general strategy. Direct manipulation takes too much effort and the rewards have matured with considerable interests.

    Some say this is Jewish, but I disagree. Well-timed words and the right conversations with the right individuals can sometimes bring about more “natural” changes than the sword. Nobody would oppose its legitimacy and the best part is nobody would think you have anything to do with it. It just somehow suited you. Just the initial push was needed.

    I’m not talking about anything of course, just purely speculative.

    ___

    TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run

    The Directory proudly announces that it has cancelled trade run for leisure week.

    ___

    TRADE - Common Market Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

    Infinity Bows

    Iron Armor

    Chain Armor Pieces

    SPLASH II

    FOODU

    GRAPPLES DES

    Buttons

    hit or miss, I guess you never grapple, huh?

    ___

    PvP Drill 176th Mass PvP Event - Maybe next week

    I LEISURE.

    ___

    DOMESTIC - Red Orchestra 2 Group Introduces GreyWolf

    1st Regiment Muhrenz introduced Grahey Wolf to Red Orchestra 2 last week, who had enjoyable results. Of course the guy stacked Germany. The gun-play and setting pleased Grey which was generally deemed by game reviewers as the perfect balance between action and realism.

    Martin is a shit tank driver.

    ___

    DOMESTIC - Foreign Office looking for potential recruits

    Would you like to build a snowman? Come on let’s go out and play.

    ___

    FINANCE - WORLD ECONOMY STABILIZING AMID AFTERSHOCKS OF VIRUS OUTBREAK

    World economy is stabilizing, but the aftershocks of the viral outbreak is still currently rocking it. As most World Governments responded rather well in containment and control outside of China.

    The virus however which has spread considerably still has high chances of further infection in relatively unaffected continents

    ___

    FINANCE - CLAN BANK WANTS TO RESUME TRADING MID-YEAR

    Dealing with the shocks to the financial stock market, it would be deemed appropriate to being trading maybe mid year. However, global economies are actually doing fine, actually and you shouldn’t worry about your job or whatever for the foreseeable future.

    Economies are generally doing good and better, just the financial part has less confidence, which is prudent in this writer’s opinion.

    **ORDERS:**

    1) TRADE RUN NEXT WEEK.

    ___

    ^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)