^(HEADLINES)

    EDITORIAL

    TRADE

    DRILLS

    DOMESTIC

    FINANCE

    ORDERS

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    HEADLINES: POSSIBILITY OF BATTLE HONOUR REJECTED ON GROUNDS OF STRATEGIC FAILURE

    ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - Combat actions in a recent patrol involving new guys was rejected on the fact that the patrol failed to complete all of its objectives. The battle was described as heavily biased in favor of Company Forces, which did not make it feel like it deserved a Battle Honour in the first place.

    However, after some people stated that were some of the currently best PvPers in the game according to immediate sources - the upset win of the Company made it politically viable to register it as a Battle Honour.

    The entire battle was a full blown Company exercise with doctrine and support built upon years and years of experience that were designed to neutralize enemy forces like them. It was the first time in years that in-game the Company mobilized full on seriousness and effort to conduct it just for the sake of the new guys.

    The Company did not find any enemy worthy enough of the effort required within those years but demonstrated its capability of when it does get serious. I mean, seriously… It’s just constant PvP. You just go in there, fight or die. What’s the absolute point to constantly raise a battle-ready army? Everyday? Come on, man. We got better things to do with people I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT.

    Opponents of the suggestion state that to award Battle Honours would incentivize GLORY HUNTS - which would ruin discipline and group cohesion as individuals eager to get a kill would abandon their objectives or even common sense just to fight and quite possibly endanger the group or make us just a bunch of bandits. We’re professionals, people.

    You failed your main mission. You want a reward? Yeah you could kill every fucking clan in-game for all I care and come out on top but if you can’t even follow simple fucking orders holy shit - what was the point of all that effort to not even get the job done? We’re not your personal army for fuck’s sake.

    Proponents of the suggestion… Actually they don’t really care that much to defend that choice and dropped it quickly actually after hearing the reasons but say “Yeah it’d be kinda nice if it was though.”

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    EDITORIAL - Actually I’m kind of busy right now.  

    Irishkaiser - I’ll add this later maybe.

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    TRADE - US MineZ Trade Run

    The Directory proudly announces that it has cancelled Trade Run for Leisure Week.

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    TRADE - Common Market Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

    Diamond Sword

    Golden Apples

    Glowstone

    Gunpowder

    Infinity Bow

    Iron Armor Pieces

    Buttons

    Lots of glowstone today… LOTS OF BLACKS TOO.

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    PvP Drill 180th Mass PvP Event - ON THE JOB TRAINING PATROL

    In order to get the new guys acquainted with how the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company works, a patrol was conducted with the end goal of collecting intelligence on certain locations.

    Full operational exercises were implemented including the planning and briefing stage complete with a map and an introduction to Kaiser Dialect Counters. In addition, a full review of doctrine and command structure and implementations of Rules of Engagement were also given.

    Writing Reports were also demonstrated as to give an example of the high degree of professionalism demanded in the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company

    The patrol found that Discord does indeed lag people on lower end computers because of RAM-heavy games like Minecraft competing for processing power or some shit and Irishkaiser functioned better after using his phone to voice chat.

    The Command Officer was originally Irishkaiser until his Discord problems forced him to be relegated to a Field Corporal role. The Second in Command performed quite well with independence and initiative but he still failed to reach his final objective. Understandable because a recent battle made him more cautious.

    Demonstrating Company professionalism proved itself to the new guys who were initially unconvinced we could not stand toe to toe with other PvPers. I’m just not into pointless fights, man. I can fight, but you better give me a good reason to fight. GIVE ME AN OBJECTIVE. NOT CHARGE IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF THE ENEMY NEEDLESSLY WITH A 50/50 CHANCE I’LL DIE FOR ISRAEL.

    Just because we don’t fight often doesn’t mean we’re incapable of fighting… It just means we’re smarter than that.

    Also, an experimental tactic has found to have worked in favor for the Company. Will apply more.

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    DOMESTIC - TAKING VoIP SUGGESTIONS

    I’m lazy. Can someone else do the work for me?

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    DOMESTIC - OLD MAN DENIED HIS LEISURE WEEK FOR THE SAKE OF NEW KIDS.

    I’m also lazy. Can someone gather chain and iron armor sets or iron swords for me for next trade run? Thank you, sonny.

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    FINANCE - PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC CHINESE CONTRACTION BALANCES U.S. OPTIMISM.

    The United States beginning to do better has positively affected the global economy, but the People’s Republic of China has reported an economic contraction, which soured optimism globally - in addition to everyone else’s perception of the authoritarian state.

    It just means we’re still in the shitter basically. Bring out your dead. Bring out your dead.

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    FINANCE - VERACITY’S INITIATIVE

    In the spirit of Le Boudin wherein the Old Guardsman defied his superior officers to finish a mission that the coward abandoned because he “DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH MEN”, St.Veracity made another ballsy play with the arrival of TWO WEEKS OF A RALLY.

    Keeping the spirit of the Old Guard Regiment, the Orc used his independence and initiative to get in there and recover losses. We have finally broke even from our losses last year.

    This is the kind of attitude he kept and is still alive.

    **ORDERS:**

    1) TRADE RUN NEXT WEEK

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    THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH