^(HEADLINES)

    ^(EDITORIAL)

    ^(TRADE)

    ^(DRILLS)

    ^(DOMESTIC)

    ^(FINANCE)

    ^(ORDERS)

    ___

    HEADLINES: UNKNOWN [?] TRADING COMPANY FLOODS MARKET WITH LEGENDARIES IN RETALIATION

    ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - Members of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company report that out of spite, the Company began flooding the market with certain Legendaries from areas like Desert Canyon Sanctuary and the like, in order to "break" the premiums' grip on the market which they're apparently trying to control.

    Though not understanding why or how this matters,hooray, I... Guess..? We sure showed them..?

    Least we got cheap Therums.

    ___

    HEADLINES: PACKAGE FINALLY ARRIVES IN THE US

    MAINE, USA - Within two weeks, the care package containing berets and patches sent from the Philippines has arrived in the US, ready to be distributed as soon as possible. All American members who are eligible may now direct their addresses and postal codes to Lieutenant_Joe.

    The paranoid fuckers among you may now take the time to set up a PO Box. For those of you who don't know, a PO Box is a service provided by certain post offices wherein they have a locker to store items or mail for you so you can receive mail anonymously or use it for business because your cheap ass don't own a warehouse.

    Fatboy Slim over there said that he would not open nor sort it out until like next weeks or so because you know, he wants to keep it in "mint" condition. You fool, I already opened and touched them. How else do you think I sorted them out?

    ___

    EDITORIAL - I actually got nothing.  

    Irishkaiser - This is why the news is usually delayed. I try to think of things to talk about but sometimes they just never come.

    ___

    TRADE - US MineZ Trade Mission

    The Directory reports it has delivered

    Cancelled Trade Mission

    After its stores were discovered to be full and that it was leisure week anyway, Company Forces decided "Eh, it should be Leisure Week after all.

    ___

    TRADE - US MineZ Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered

    1 Webshot

    Power II Punch I Bow

    in exchange for

    3 Stacks of Bread

    A "nice" US guy, I heard.

    ___

    TRADE - EA MineZ Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered

    1 KB I Smite V Book

    in exchange for

    3 Cakes

    A "lovely" Japanese "gal". Yeah, sho bud.

    ___

    TRADE - Common Market Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

    Nuffen

    It's leisure week.

    ___

    PvP Drill 189th Mass PvP Event - No Money, No Honey

    This PvE Line, huh?

    ___

    DOMESTIC - APAT20 RELEASED AS OFFICIAL CAMOUFLAGE

    Finally. This has took forever. Alright. Make your mark, sign your name - it's all the same to me.

    ___

    DOMESTIC - APAT20 RELEASED AS OFFICIAL CAMOUFLAGE

    Finally. This has took forever. Alright. Make your mark, sign your name - it's all the same to me.

    ___

    DOMESTIC - IRISHKAISER RELEASES TEASE OF WHAT'S TO COME

    Local Old Man posted pics and shit of what might come in the future where he used the words "two pieces of merch" in the selfie-bar room

    He later furiously masturbated at himself.

    ___

    DOMESTIC - AVVER INSPECTS LE POOPS

    Finds them to be uglier than he expected, but manageable still.

    ___

    FINANCE - SIDEWAYS NINJA - NO TRADES

    How does sideways work, you ask? Well, basically it's when the market barely moves in a profitable manner or whatever.

    **ORDERS:**

    1) Trade Mission Next Week

    2) GET MORE COLONIALS.

    ___

    ^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY'S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)