^(HEADLINES)

    ^(EDITORIAL)

    ^(TRADE)

    ^(DRILLS)

    ^(DOMESTIC)

    ^(FINANCE)

    ^(ORDERS)

    ___

    HEADLINES: US CONTACT BITCHES POLITICS. WARNS BERETS WON'T MAKE IT IN TIME. MAYBE.

    ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - Typical Americans. I knew they'd mess it up somehow. Something something Donald Trump or whatever.

    Further independent research however has shown that the US Presidential incumbent is not necessarily to blame, as his situation could be akin to British incumbent Prime Minister Boris Johnson's stance on the NHS. Not seeking to destroy it, but to save it. Both exhibit fear that the entire system could be overwhelmed by a lot of people all using a government service at the same time - which theoretically could mean that your votes WOULD NOT COUNT IN TIME.

    And yes, there is a difference between Absentee Voting and Mail-In Ballots, you retards. Absentee Voting has everything done more in advanced with more signatures and personal identification required than mail-in. It's what serving military members of a country uses both overseas and serving domestically because they are not allowed to leave their posts at times. They don't mail-in. They absentee vote.

    The timetable Irishkaiser planned may be thrown in disarray as there are still two things left to do before he unzips his pants.

    The independent research however has discovered that there will be no reforms and changes to the United States Postal Service until after the US elections in November... Which means there is still a huge window and plenty of time regardless whether or not the reforms and changes are good or bad. The US Postal Service will not be overwhelmed by then and it'll operate as it always has... Probably shit if it's a government service anyway.

    Unfortunately, the Special Project timetable may be cutting close. Ah, c'est la vie. We can make cuts.

    Amerilets. When are they ever gonna learn.

    ___

    EDITORIAL - Fuck it, I'll write something when I see it.  

    Irishkaiser - Screw it

    ___

    TRADE - US MineZ Trade Mission

    The Directory reports it has delivered

    3 Iron Armor Sets

    1 Glowstone

    in exchange for

    Snowballs, baby

    A rather slow Trade Mission in comparison. We need more colonials. STRENGTH THROUGH UNITY. UNITY THROUGH FAITH.

    ___

    TRADE - Common Market Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

    Chain Armor Pieces

    Iron Axe

    Dyes

    Some food

    Health Potions

    Some people, huh. They wants bags now.

    ___

    PvP Drill 189th Mass PvP Event - No Money, No Honey

    This PvE Line, huh?

    ___

    DOMESTIC - MAJICOU DISCOVERS UTC SECRETS AFTER BEING INVITED

    Local Company Citizen embarrasses the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company after being given invitation to a Company secret. It was later discovered that he "figured it out" himself.

    Fuck that guy.

    Trying to murder him via Foreign Office proved impossible since we it's a group that's not allowed to conduct operations among UTC Citizens. Rights are gay.

    ___

    FINANCE - NO NEWS

    But No news usually means Good News as it means the roads and caravans are safe from bandits. HA.

    **ORDERS:**

    1) Trade Mission Next Week

    2) GET MORE COLONIALS.

    ___

    ^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY'S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)