Aaron Leonard https://risingthumb.xyz
HEADLINES: ASPERMONT ALIGHTS IN FESTIVITY FOR BANJO WEEK. MERCHANDISE REVEALED. RAFFLE WINNERS. WESTERLANDER VALEUR ET DISCIPLINE.
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - The West was once again alight with people both old and new joining in for Banjo Week in anticipation for the big reveal of Clan Merchandise by Irishkaiser. Some people were even partycrashers and discovered the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company for the first time in the city.
The party started normally with people dancing to the beats of 80s Cold War era music and in a first in Company history, the party actually consumed all the 30+ cake and the crowd went outside to view a spectacular fireworks display to the tune of the Company’s anthem: I Vow To Thee My Country..
It was so perfect in choreography that the music ended just as the last firework was let off. Beautiful.
In the first ever in the Company, real life prizes were given out
Special guest included Irishkaiser’s long lost daughter, Little Marjolein, who is so much like her in-game father it’s pretty fucking scary. She’s like an Arya fucking Stark coming back from Essos. Jesus she’s so fucking hardcore, I wonder if I made a mistake.
The party was about to end when all of a sudden a Killer Premium and an unidentified individual approached. The Commanding Officer of the Guard ordered the log out of civilians while members of the Company stayed behind to guard.
Once the guests had logged, the Commanding Officer of the Guard then told the rest of the men to log out. Unfortunately, one unlucky regimental of the 1st Westerlands Regiment was struck by arrow fire before he managed to log, thus initiating combat with a Killer Premium type assailant.
What followed was a heroic and valiant defense of the Westerlander, who before said he had depleted health supplies and was never supplied with a battle inventory before the party.
What followed was a great showcase of the UNKNOWN TRADE MUHREEN.
Wearing ceremonial UTC armor, which consisted of the traditional old combat equipment of binding helmet + ninja sandals, the Muhreen put up a valiant fight with little health supplies. Intelligence later verified that the Killer Premium was once again a part of one of the best PvP groups in MineZ currently.
The heroic defense and holding of the line showcased that no one should underestimate any Westerlander as though he was outgunned and outmatched, he was never outfought. The Westerlander bought enough time against the best in time for reinforcements to arrive and drive off the Killer Premium and an unidentified individual whose relation with the killer premium is still unverified.
Overwhelming UTC superiority was brought into Aspermont and even some Company Citizens came in, eager to fight and die for their beloved Empire. The Westerlander was later praised by Irishkaiser and even entertained the possibility of it becoming a Battle Honour.
The party was breddy gud.
EDITORIAL - The Original Purpose of Our Institutions
Irishkaiser - The issue of certain Company Institutions were brought up last week and to their purpose. These were Citizenship, Territory, etc. Time and people have corrupted their purpose and for a time we were abusing them and their true intentions for being implemented are almost lost to time. I will clear it up from now on what constitutes Company Territory and Company Citizenship:
Company Territory is not a hard border or line of demarcation of the clan, but a place where Company Rule applies and most Company Rules only apply with CONSENT. WHERE I WALK IS THE EXTENT OF OUR BORDERS, WHERE I SLEEP IS YOUR HOLY GROUND. AND I SEE OUR BORDERS AND TEMPLES ALL THE WAY AT CARMI WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW.
These are areas were Company Rules apply and people have the right to sue us or complain of unjust treatment and vice versa. Only to those people who consented, of course. Welcome to ANCAPISTAN.
Company Citizens are technically, since their start as Imperial Citizens - not protected by the Company but are protected from the Company. It was only in our recent past that people have twisted Imperial Citizens as people we have suzerainty over and at worse and its abuse, an excuse to start or go to war.
IF YOU CONSENT. WE WON’T FUCK WITH YOU IF YOU WON’T FUCK WITH US. SIMPLE AS.
Alroyt? Clear? Simple as.
TRADE - US MineZ Trade Mission
The Directory reports it has cancelled Trade Mission for Banjo Week.
TRADE - NA MineZ Trade
The Directory reports it has delivered
2 Therum’s Strength
in exchange for
TRADE - Common Market Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.
HEAL KITS SO MUCH HEAL KITS
IRON SWORDS SO FEW IRON SWORDS
CHAIN AND IRON ARMOR SOMETHING SOMETHING
Bags and Shit
Haha, now you are stuck in Ohio
PvP Drill 189th Mass PvP Event - No Money, No Honey
This PvE Line, huh?
DOMESTIC - RAFFLE WINNERS GOT THEIR STUFF
The first in the clan’s history - real world prizes. Showcasing the economic advancement of our nation. Our Community is inherently superior. No one can take this away from us.
Now suck my cock.
DOMESTIC - ASPERMONT DEFENSE UPDATES UTC COMBAT UNIFORM?
The defense at Aspermont has showcased inherent weaknesses in the current MineZ meta. The Company Uniform was a combat inventory designed for SCHWERPUNKT or maneuver warfare and though the Muhreen fighting in it said it did save his life, it also prevented him from going head to head straight against a killer premium in a more conventional MineZ inventory.
The reduced protection left him vulnerable in the slugfest of the MineZ PvP meta, where food runs out faster it seems and fighting being more stationary than usual.
As such, in the future, the Guard at parties may only opt for ceremonial uniform.
But hey, look at that, we fight with outdated hand-me down equipment from his great grandpa and still are competitive and fierce. Just like how the United States Marine Corps sees itself. Oozah, debil donut. Gib hell.
FINANCE - CLAN BANK REVEALS MERCHANDISE SHOP
Unfortunately only paypal for now since my ecommerce application from my bank is slow. At least we got our first customer.
FINANCE - COMPANY CITIZENS GET FREEBIES
What is this a Communist Clan now?
1) BANJO WEEK ENDS NEXT WEEK.
^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY’S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)