^(HEADLINES)

    ^(EDITORIAL)

    ^(TRADE)

    ^(DRILLS)

    ^(DOMESTIC)

    ^(FINANCE)

    ^(ORDERS)

    ___

    HEADLINES: BATTLE HONOUR WITH NO MEDALS AWARDED TO REGIMENT, BY LONE REGIMENTAL

    ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - A Battle Honour with no Legion D'Honneur was awarded to the Westerlands regiment, a first in Clan history. The reason being that Medals are only awarded to Company Members present in the fighting, but since a lone regimental - someone who is ineligible to receive medals - did most of the work, the regiment in solidarity therefore refused medals in recognition of his valiant effort.

    Detractors argued that this should not be a Battle Honour since it was a one versus one and that there is a bigger battle with more Company Members and technically more regiments by UTC Forces against an equal number of what is considered the best MineZ PvPers at the time. Certainly this merits our boys' fighting ability?

    Supporters argued that Battle Honours were in face of adversity and that easily winnable battles with overwhelming force is insulting not to the enemy, but to us.

    The Battle of Lost Woods Shrine 2020 some of the supporters admit does seem to merit Battle Honour status for its ingenious use of Maneuver, particularly its reverse crescent formation against a straightforward Premium attack, but it was so good that it was all whittled down to textbook UTC tactics. A fully prepared and mobilized Company Force is specifically designed to engage and destroy any premium clan within their specified area of operations. The harshest however argued that during Lost Woods 2020, the Commanding Officer failed to meet the final objective of the mission and called for a retreat after decisively defeating the premium enemy, choosing, maybe wisely, that the Company can no longer sustain with 100% certainty any other engagement against other premium clans. Which is understandable, but they still failed to achieve the final objective, in spite of the protests of certain members of the unit to push on.

    Oh yeah, now I remember why. It's because we didn't want to incentivize glory hunts and that missions are more important than getting your d sword wet with premium blood.

    In contrast, the lone Muhreen was fighting in defense of Citizens and Foreign Dignitaries and of Aspermont herself which is all in his mission statement. He survived barely, after he was just shafted by higher command for ignoring his equipment and his well being. Just like a real US Marine.

    Also, no losses were incurred as everyone under the Company's protection was safe at the end.

    Oozah?

    ___

    EDITORIAL - LET ME GO BACK TO SLEEP  

    Irishkaiser - Banjo Week's over, looks like I gotta get myself to work. God, I hate it so much.

    Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heaaaaal.

    Banjo Week is supposed to be a reminder of our roots as players that we weren't always an established clan - that we were once players and people who played the game our own way. A tradition that is protected in our clan's institutions and perception of freedom of playstyle. Play the game how you want it, however you want it, whenever you want it. No one can stop you.

    Go out there and kill niggas, go out there and trade with niggas, hell you do dungeons? Shit, if that's what you find fun go fucking do it. How about you go to the beach and watch the sunset and just talk in the eyechat? That's Banjo Week.

    Everyone has the legal right to not be punished for missing out on missions or events. No one can punish you for that. ANARCHY IN THE UK

    Shit, I spent most of my Banjo Week playing Bannerlord. How about you? What did you do during Banjo Week?

    ___

    TRADE - US MineZ Trade Mission

    The prouodly Directory reports that an unofficial Trade Mission delivered

    5 Iron Armor Sets

    5 Iron Swords and Shit

    in exchange for

    1 Trade Mission Colonial

    Tons of Dyes and Shit

    ___

    TRADE - NA MineZ Trade

    The Directory reports it has delivered

    2 Therum's Strength

    in exchange for

    1 Cake

    ___

    TRADE - Common Market Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

    Iron Swords

    Fucking Heal Kits What th Fuck

    Iron Axes

    You would not believe the amount of heal kits one guy had. Holy shit. And they were well filled too. Allahu akbar.

    ___

    PvP Drill 189th Mass PvP Event - PvE Line Mentality

    Any moment now... We'll break out of it... Any moment.

    ___

    DOMESTIC - BINDING HELMETS OFFICIALLY RETIRED FROM COMPANY UNIFORMS

    Binding Helmets as of today have been officially retired.

    Has a 10% chance to give you and everyone around you slowness I for 2 seconds Consumes 2 durability when it activates

    But Binding Helmets' status as part of the Company Uniform was already in question due to large changes in the MineZ PvP meta this was. It was later found out by the Foreign Office that the person the Company drove off in Aspermont is a MineZ admin. It is unconfirmed yet if their experiences against the Muhreen played a part in the decision to change it. However, the Company was already looking for ways to update their uniform but lacked most experience since the PvE line mentality sapped most need to go out there and kick their punk asses.

    It is poetic and fitting that its final service is in Aspermont and that its opponent was a MineZ premium and admin. Bury it besides one of my three graves. It has served us well since it was in-game.

    Ok, now let's come up with a new uniform.

    ___

    FINANCE - CLAN BANK REVEALS MERCHANDISE SHOP

    WELCOME TO ANCAPISTAN.

    Unfortunately only paypal for now since my ecommerce application from my bank is slow. At least we got our first customer.

    ___

    FINANCE - CUSTOM MADE PATCHES AVAILABLE ON MERCHANDISE STORE

    5 Dolla. We make anything.

    ___

    FINANCE - CHINESE REPORTS BRING US BACK UP

    Boy, I sure hope the Communist Party did not freaking lie or some shit :D

    Hahah, it would literally kill us. At least we got a merchandise store as an alternative.

    **ORDERS:**

    1) BANJO WEEK ENDS NEXT WEEK.

    ___

    ^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY'S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)