^(HEADLINES)

    ^(EDITORIAL)

    ^(TRADE)

    ^(DRILLS)

    ^(DOMESTIC)

    ^(FINANCE)

    ^(ORDERS)

    ___

    HEADLINES: OLD MAN ASSAULTS HIS KIDS FOR ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD REASON

    ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - A surprise project dedicated to Irishkaiser by his kids resulted in him punching said kids in the stomach, and shouting profanities at them. He was overheard saying: "LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHITS, I HAVE FOUGHT FOR YEARS TO KEEP IT SAFE AND I'M NOT JUST ABOUT TO LET SOME PUNK ASS RUIN IT FOR US IN A MATTER OF DAYS."

    Typically, he was arrested for child abuse and then taken away. In spite of his opposition, he did remind that they are still free, in the clan to continue if they so choose, but just CONSIDER THE REPERCUSSIONS.

    Had it not been for the Laws of this Clan - I WOULD HAVE SLAUGHTERED YOU. God, Rule of Law is such a mistake.

    ___

    EDITORIAL - Nuffen  

    Irishkaiser - I've just been so busy playing Bannerlord. Is it good if a game is a timewarp?

    ___

    TRADE - US MineZ Trade Mission

    The proudly Directory reports that an unofficial Trade Mission delivered

    7 Iron Armor Sets

    5 Iron Swords

    2 Diamond Swords

    in exchange for

    Uh, we all kinda forgot. He paid a lot.

    Ok get this. We brought down seven iron armor sets. Fucking seven. And then this one nigga he just comes in and straight up buys it all like a motherfucker. Shortest trade run ever. Literally did not even have to do anything. We decided to just go home after that. Not kidding. Not fucking kidding.

    ___

    TRADE - Common Market Trade

    The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following goods circulated.

    **Diamond Swords

    Infinity Bows

    Iron Armor Sets

    Rubber Shield

    EUROPE STRONK.

    ___

    PvP Drill 189th Mass PvP Event - PvE Line Mentality

    Any moment now... We'll break out of it... Any moment.

    ___

    DOMESTIC - OCTOBER SPECIALS COMING SOON - COURTESY OF CLAN MERCHANDISE

    Unknown Consumer Goods Trading(actual registered business name) has partnered with the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company and manufacturers from Vietnam and the Philippines for a special product to be released come October.

    The special merchandise will be in honor of all Unknown Trade Muhreenz past and present, all the way from their ancestors in 2013 to their official foundation as a Company Unit on the 30th of May, 2015

    ___

    DOMESTIC - WE JUST REALIZED DIAMOND SWORDS CAN BE EASILY SOLD SOUTH

    In a dumb light of realization, we realized we still haven't regularly sold Diamond Swords in Trade Missions. In the past, we rarely sold them or only in small quantities to trusted players because we knew they could have been used against us. Now, with the PvE line, we're finally free.

    ___

    FINANCE - NEW PRODUCTS COME OCTOBER

    I'm thinking of getting certain models for certain players and members of our communities as well.

    **ORDERS:**

    1) TRADE MISSION NEXT WEEK

    ___

    ^(THE [?] EMPIRE,THE COMPANY'S OFFICIAL NEWS SOURCE AND PROPAGANDA TOOL. AW YEAH)