HEADLINES: EUROPEAN BERETS SENT
MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - Company Members in Europe finally get their berets. After many months of the box just sitting there, the berets were finally sent out. Yaaaay, free Stuff.
The European Members are expected to get their berets in one or two weeks from the time of this News being posted… Hahah, right, Martin..? Right..? You’re not going to fuck it up, right..?
Patches from the 1st, 29th and 93rd are planned to be included as well. However, some were deemed not enough. Maybe. I don’t know how many members we have over there. When was the last time we did a census?
EDITORIAL - Why I don’t post photos of my pets - Psychology of Perceptive Manipulation.
Irishkaiser - Recently there has been some discussion with cats and dogs in the Company’s circles and of course I take a side, but someone noticed “Ey, Irish… If you do like your pet so much, why you no post picture, blin?” and there was that one guy who noticed my pet off-camera in one of my photos and was like “Aiyo your dog eating shit off-camera blyat.”
Well, you faggot - let me tell you it’s cause I love my pets that I don’t post pictures of them for adoration. Hear me out, tovarischii…
You know the stereotype of the guy who goes to the park with his dog(s) just to pick up chicks or some shit? The person who may or may not be a complete and utter failure of a human being hides his true worth and personality behind a dog. To me, as a person who don’t even believe in neutering pets, I find that as manipulative and downright dishonest. To me, anyway. Not sure about you in the West - but I am suspicious of people who use their pets as an affection magnet. More often than not, they are some of the most manipulative motherfuckers out there.
Don’t believe me? Quick. Imagine you are writing a movie where the people you’re rooting for(protagonist) is technologically superior and is more of an invading force and they’re about to fight a bunch of freedom fighters. How do you make the audience root for the imperialist bastards destroying them? The answer? You give them a fucking dog.
Or in any case, an agreeable pet as long as it’s depicted as being agreeable to the protagonist.
But that’s right, fucking Hollywood even figured it out that to make you like what is essentially a bunch of scumbags and make them seem like the good guys is to pose them alongside pets - even as they’re doing their war crimes. Politicians do this as well when they want to increase approval. Putin does this a lot when he has to. And it fucking works.
Now I’m not against animal pictures. I’m not necessarily suspicious of people who post only pictures of their pets, cyka. They have other psychological giveaways that I am aware of but won’t talk about.
That’s the act I’m trying to avoid. I want you to like me for me, warts and all and not me because I have a cute fucking puppy sitting next to me going like “Bork bork please like Irishkaiser”.
I love my dogs that I don’t want to fucking use them to get people to like me. But remember, next time you see someone who excessively post pictures of themselves ALONGSIDE THEIR PETS, it raises a lot of red flags on the kind of person that one is.
Or they just think animals make them better looking in comparison cause they’re ugly. I don’t fucking know.
TRADE - US MineZ Trade Mission
The proudly Directory reports that it has cancelled Trade Mission for Leisure Week.
TRADE - Common Market Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has traded.
Iron Armor Pieces
Huh, not a lot of trades this week.
PvP Drill 198th Mass PvP Event - I want to die
Welp, hope you enjoyed your holidays because it’s back to work.
DOMESTIC - FORMER TERRORIST BECOMES COMPANY CITIZEN
North Korean achieves his dream of finally escaping North Korea and joining the promised land. Found racism to be really enjoyable. He will now pick my strawberries and will tattoo himself with “Property of Irishkaiser” on his left buttcheek.
DOMESTIC - Local Man Trying to Convince his Son to Play With Him.
Novaya Zarya. Come on install the game blin, have adventures with me every leisure week.
FINANCE - LILI MARLEEN TO BE RELEASED SOON
I have no pictures yet because I’m not happy with the modeling and pictures. I’ll try to get them out this week though.
FINANCE - CLAN BANK ACHIEVES STAGGERING 39% INCREASE THROUGHOUT LAST QUARTERLY REPORT
That or we’re really bad at math.
1) Trade Mission Next Week.