HEADLINES: LOST WOODS VETERANS GRANTED BATTLE HONOUR
ASPERMONT, WESTERLANDS - LET’S GO. COMBAT OF MERIT 1ST CLASS, BABY. I AM A MOTHERFUCKER. I EAT OBBIES FOR BREAKFAST. I AM KRUZI MOTHERFUCKING KAAZJUN.
I’m old… I’m going to bed now…
EDITORIAL - Still got nothing.
Irishkaiser - I say a lot of shit. It’s just gonna be repeating
TRADE - US MineZ Trade Mission
The proudly Directory reports that it has forgot Trade Mission for Bannerlord and everyone got exams or some shit. There was an alternative order to find something else, but not even that was taken up.
No, I mean everyone got exams.
Ok, one week. One fucking week.
TRADE - Common Market Trade
The Directory proudly announces that it has witnessed the following trades
PvP Drill 198th Mass PvP Event - I want to live
DOMESTIC - LOCAL PREMIUM ASKS UTC TO FUCK SHIT UP. “WHY?” ASKS OLD MEN.
Local Premium wants a change in the “power structure” or something in MineZ and specifically wants the Company to gather its Empire and Commonwealth to fuck shit up, especially after remembering the events of Lost Woods 2020.
Old combat veteran and scandalous Director Irishkaiser misunderstanding thought he meant the world in real life to which he was like “Yes, soon. If the predicted war in the Pacific doesn’t break out and kill off the warrior class of the clan in glorious combat, yeah sure… Damn, we got a lot of people in combat occupations…
The premium was like “No, I mean MineZ.”
Perplexed and confused, the Company then responded with “Why..?” and the local premium was like “…”. End of story. No, really. It was something like that.
DOMESTIC - Terrorist Attempts at joining UTC Discord
It’s OK, they were feminist terrorists. Stopped at the border. But not before I was attempting to sell them my goods. We have our differences, but I’m sure we can all come together under the great equalizer that is free market capitalism. Fug :DDD
DOMESTIC - Concerns growing over Premium Ghettos in the Empire
Though the premiums ruined everything and migrated further East for the most part, those niggers as usual, a considerable amount of them have stayed after interacting with the UTC.
They’re bringing their shit food, shit taste in music and other shit garbage and affecting our kids. I noticed my little baby boy started talking funny like some retard.
Fucking migrants how do they work.
DOMESTIC - COMPANY FORCES FIND MINEZ INCREDIBLY QUIET AS TIME GOES ON
Only asinine shit that we’ve tuned out. Welp, back to playing Bannerlord. Probably was just the exams though. I don’t know, I’m going to bed.
FINANCE - CLAN BANK LOOKS TO EXPAND REAL ESTATE EMPIRE WITH MORE LAND
Oh you guys know what’s going to be fucking cool. What if we do that Scottish lord shit and give out like land titles or whatever to people who help buy plots. Fucking amazing ain’t it?
1) No amount of dead games are going to stop me from enjoying my leisure week. It’s a free country.