CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.

    ^HEADLINES

    EDITORIALS

    TRADE

    DOMESTIC

    COMMUNITY

    ORDERS


    • HEADLINES: Premium Player Cap

    PORTSMOUTH, S.L. - Under strict orders it is forbidden to recruit further premium members in the Company until further notice. More regular MineZ players are encouraged to be recruited instead.

    It will also be discouraged but not forbidden to use the premium term “UTC” as from now on it is preferred that we will refer to ourselves in the proper olden terms as “the Company” or [?].


    • EDITORIAL “Has ShotBow reached market Saturation?”

    Irishkaiser - Rather, the question would be - if ShotBow has reached market saturation and is on the verge of slow growth or stagnation - what would this mean for us? Firstly, we must define market saturation. Market saturation happens when a business or industry has filled in the need or demand of certain products and no more new innovations or new businesses can be formed from their current state(or, it signals IT MUST create new innovation and businesses to keep pace).

    A classical example of this would be the Nursing industry in certain countries. Demand for professional nurses or doctors spiked after World War II and declined in the early 2000s as plenty of people who took up Nursing were filling an already full basket of professionals by the time they graduated.

    Even innovative and creative companies like Apple aren’t immune to this shit. What was the latest thing they released? The same iPad? Except what..? OH THAT’S RIGHT… IT’S JUST AS THIN AS A PENCIL OR SOMETHING. And how many of you actually use fucking Siri other than it being a gimmick in your bedrooms? Be honest.

    To understand how’d we’d react in the event of ShotBow’s market saturation, we must first see the possibilities of what may happen in the event of such. Most obvious would be that it would turn into the other servers whose flagship gamemodes are fast-paced quickjoin types that are highly competitive. These game modes are easier to swallow because they’re quick and provide instant enjoyment like fast food and therefore, will open them to bigger markets but will make them just like that - no depth.

    ShotBow, no longer being an underground or underdog network changes the reputation and pace of the older community and the Network may also have to change its attitude since they’d be one of the tops. This usually means, more faceless administration staff to tackle most community matters that would be instantly dismissed at a moment’s notice. Reason be damned because ShotBow would have bigger financial-based and creative problems to tackle than some fucking hackers or buncha suggestions.

    Another would be the fact that if ShotBow does reach market saturation it would try to find a way to stay where it’s at if it isn’t able to go up. High probability of lower quality gamemodes(on demand, and not on creative instinct) flooding the lobbies, not to mention more gimmicks and premium benefits. Plenty of faceless people may join and it’ll be a community of mostly strangers instead, not unlike the Yogscast(those guys still aren’t funny. Seriously, if you still watch their videos, eat a dick faggot and never come back here again.)

    These are all just possibilities in the case of market saturation, but it would affect us as well. MineZ is our gamemode and our home and it would still be very threatened in the case of financial decision like cutting servers to feed other gamemodes(VIRJINYUH). And the community impact where we’d be indirectly forced into Elitism by virtue of us being automatically associated with the “veteran” community.

    These changes if taken slowly are harmless as long as we can keep pace. But if they’re sudden - measures need to be applied. Some of those measures may even lead to the disbanding of the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company as an effective organization in MineZ.


    • TRADE US TRADE RUN

    The directory reports that it delivered about:

    3 Iron Swords

    2 Power Bows

    2 Chain Sets

    In exchange for

    15 Health Potions

    No matter what. Whenever we give them the chance, the premiums always fuck with us. Why do we always have to constantly deal with this bullshit. “WE PAY SO YOU CAN PLAY” fuckwads who can’t come up with their own rationale argument and opt for slogans not unlike the plebian-minded liberal sheep who just shout “RACIST!” or “NAZI!” instantly thinking they have the high ground by virtue of their feelings.

    The trade run went well at first. White players were always the most welcoming and common customers. When premiums come they’re always planning to cause trouble. Even premiums in our own ranks were causing trouble because for some strange reason, premiums can’t be civilized.

    So this premium(challenmannen01) called in his premium friends(HellionX2) to attack us and in the confusion betrayed us. I killed Hellion but was killed by player zombies(I was a Leather Scout, so I was expendable). Then Premium number 1 attacked and killed Boonut who didn’t listen to my orders of “KILL THEM ALL” because I knew what dirty premiums are always going to do but Boonut like a premium wouldn’t admit it at first because he said it was my fault to watch over them, as fucking if. I gave a direct order right there on the spot and he still didn’t kill him. Ver was left to take on Challenmannen but Boonut being a stupid premium called Ver in Skype and caused him to lag and tab out killing him.

    Recap: All problems caused by premiums from both sides.

    Then as soon as we came back, I killed an Obsidian(name hazy) and then I overheard Premium 2 betrayed Premium 1(because premiums can’t even trust each other). First mistake the premiums did, they knocked out one of their own from the fight and Premium 2 left.

    The fight still wasn’t over but Premium 1 logged. We stayed in Grimdale anyway, securing it from the colored arrogant bastards. Bob logged back in full gear(he missed the fight but I guess surprise was on our side that day since they didn’t know our real strength). Then premium 1(challenmannen) came back, their second mistake.

    Thinking he had the jump on us, the dirty premium was shocked and forced to fleet to the Grimdale bridge. he called in his premium reinforcements Premium 3(film224) and Premium 4(SophieBeeMC) and a fifth unindentified premium who was probably neutral to the fighting but attacked us anyway(can’t confirm). We engaged them all and dropped the motherfuckers, but knowing premiums come back we decided to just get the stuff. DangerP7, one of the valiant white players helping us defend the caravan lagged out and he even managed to kill a premium with his BARE HANDS. Boonut, in his immense low Premium IQ thought “DUUUH… COMBAT LOG. MUST KILL.” prolonging the combat further.

    Luckily the premiums were engaged at the back and we managed to kill them once again. Then I got a message from Premium 4… “Wow you’re so bad”.

    I could not believe they actually live up to the stereotypes. Holy shit, why the fuck did we stop killing premiums on sight? Then they started shouting “WE PAY SO YOU CAN PLAY!” bullshit because like the plebian minded liberal sheep they are who can’t make their own rationale arguments and instead rely on their feelings, they were just mimicking their liberal counterparts IRL by shouting “RACIST!” or “NAZI!” to gain the high ground when that is irrelevant and an ad hominem. WHY DOES GETTING PREMIUM LOWER YOUR IQ. IS THERE SOME KIND OF BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION OR SOMETHING.

    Anyway, I told the premium that what he basically said was “Money justifies my actions.” and he just basically said “nope” and then he repeated “WE PAY SO YOU CAN PLAY!” because premiums are not just sheep, but they’re also broken records.

    So… Basically… Premiums are still a major problem and those who deny the social burdens premiums create live in a delusional, make-believe hippie world where they ignore biology and science such as stereotyping being a survival instinct.

    Why the fuck do we still tolerate them? Anyway, Epilogue - we got all the stuff back and awarded DangerP7 the Eisenkreuz(diamond sword) for his valiant services in the defense of his fatherland against the foreign premium aggressor.


    • DOMESTIC: Diamond Swords were given out for free during Christmas

    Recipients included LopNort, CGStorm, RealityTheory and DangerP7


    • ORDERS: *

    1) Trade Run finished. SOP.

    2) Forbid further recruitment of premiums.

    3) Stop paying Boonut’s college fund because motherfucker doesn’t learn.


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