CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.

    ^HEADLINES

    EDITORIALS

    TRADE

    DOMESTIC

    COMMUNITY

    ORDERS


    • HEADLINES: Winterhilfswerk Distributed

    Aspermont, W.L - The Winterhilfswerk program finally went underway as the XP was finally distributed. In spite of this, premiums were clubbed anyway. One person did not receive the 100,000XP due to a typo error as CGStorm23’s name was accidentally written out as just CGStorm and some say that this was the misunderstanding that caused and allowed the clubbing of the Eternal Premium.

    Others say Irishkaiser would’ve still clubbed them anyway even if CGStorm23 did get his XP. Experts agree with the latter theory.


    • EDITORIAL “Irishkaiser is always right but nobody listens to him”

    Irishkaiser - One rule that I’ve found out about the Company ever since it’s inception(after excessive consumption of alcohol and feeding my ego)… IS THAT I AM ALWAYS RIGHT… But nobody ever fucking listens to me… hic YOU HEAR ME JOE… YOU DIDN’T LISTEN… NOW YOU PAY THE PRICE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

    Right now, my current streak is at Wasted… I was one of the first to ask for a jetpack nerf and I stood strong in it amid those jetpack elite cunts like MiniMark33 who is now a builder or some shit that tried to call me names and stop me. LOOK AT WASTED NOW, NIGGER… YOU ABANDONED IT BECAUSE YOU WERE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO KILLED IT… But it’s back… Fact, I was the first one to mention REMOVING FIRING FROM FUCKING MID-AIR when everyone else was thinking about a specific anti-jetpack weapon like lock-ons and what not.

    So I’ve come to the conclusion that I am always right… But it’s OK, nobody ever listens anyway so it’s cool to make fun of me and call me an ass muncher or cock head or huge fucking faggot. Yes, I have nothing else to write about for this week’s issue.


    • TRADE US TRADE RUN

    The directory reports that it delivered about:

    2 Battlesigns

    2 Chain Sets

    2 Infinity Bows

    In exchange for

    16 Health Potions

    A poor performance on average that could be attributed to lack of manpower as all available manpower resources were sent to do different jobs the night before and could not participate because they were too sleepy. Further reserves were also doing other stuff like going camping for the weekend. Leaving the new guy and the two premium brothers(Boonut and Cereal). First off… The new guy had a bad start, KEK and half of us were locked out of the server because of Stupid Saturday or premiums having a homosexual house party in your front lawn. The rest stayed inside and just tried to spite the premiums by taking up server slots. Anyway, the new guy quit so we did a trade run with me, boonut, Cereal and Jerry_Jelly. Ironically, we sold our products to a bunch of premiums… And before that there were a bunch of premiums who attempted to ambush us but we know their tricks.


    • TRADE US DIAMOND SWORD TRADE

    The directory reports that it delivered about:

    3 Diamond Swords

    In exchange for

    30 Health Potions

    Niggers


    • TRADE US DIAMOND SWORD TRADE

    The directory reports that it delivered about:

    1 Full Diamond Sword

    Iron Chest, Iron Pants

    In exchange for

    14 Health Potions

    3 Iron Swords

    Coon.


    • TRADE US IRON ARMOR TRADE

    The directory reports that it delivered about:

    2 Iron Armor Sets

    In exchange for

    14 health potions

    1 golden apple

    White people


    • DOMESTIC: New Regiment Processing - 93rd Virtues

    A new regiment being raised tasked with competing for legendary production is being processed currently. The regiment candidate took the town name “Virtues” from the “Test of Virtues” and uses the numbers 93.

    It is unsure when the Regiment will become official but is looking for members - premium and non-premium(preferably non-premium) to join its ranks.


    • ORDERS: *

    1) Trade Run finished. SOP.


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