- HEADLINES: COMPANY ARRIVES IN CARMI
- EDITORIAL “On the Presence of Females In-Game”
- TRADE RUNS Successful Trade Run and Carmi Market opened
- DOMESTIC MATT486 IS ELIGIBLE TO JOIN
- COMMUNITY: Fuck MineZ
- ENTERTAINMENT: WHOLEMILKLP’S INNER BANDIT
CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.
CARMI, T.O. - Trade was brisk in the previously untapped market of Carmi yesterday as the Company’s caravan finally reached the port city for the first time since the organization came to being last year in the first week of Frost Fall(October).
^“I’ve ^never ^seen ^a ^healer ^in ^months..! ^In ^fact, ^I’ve ^never ^seen ^anything ^of ^its ^like ^before. ^I’ve ^seen ^full ^iron ^healers ^and ^the ^usual ^bandits ^but ^never ^merchants.” ^-Carmi ^resident
The decision to sell in Carmi wasn’t planned as Cpt.Irishkaiser of the 222nd originally ordered the excursion towards Huntsgrove, but the dryness of customers changed the course to more populated Romero where the caravan encountered 2 full iron bandits with diamond swords but were trapped by Company members and driven out.
The violence forced the Company to move further Eastwards and set up shop in the market area of Carmi where an abundance of customers flocked and bought Company branded weapons and armor in exchange for potions and food.
Irishkaiser - Nothing grinds my gears more than a bunch of gawky, internet whiteknights coming to the selfless, stupid aid of any female player within their immediate vicinity even though they have no dignified benefit to gain from their interactions. This subtle sexism and or selfish wants has manifested itself in many of my encounters in MineZ. I think you’ve encountered the same thing too, reader.
Special attention and priority that are given to them without effort, undeserved and unwarranted credit that are awarded to them simply because they got a set of tits and a cunt are one of the most terrible forms of injustices in any community and I am disgusted at how some of you, people that I know do them. The fault is not in the men alone who are a bunch of stupid dumbshits for biasing themselves in any conflict as long as they’re on the side of the girl but also the Goddamn girls and women WHO HAVE TO POINT OUT THAT THEY ARE GIRLS IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT IS MOST UNNECESSARY.
Now this will also answer the question why I call fellow females as “man” or “dude” or “motherfucker” or even “faggot”. Below the surface, what I mean by these words are “you are my equal.” and it’s a defensive attempt at trying to put people in their rightful place by reminding them that they are not special and that in our[The Company’s] presence, they have to earn their attention(or as we prefer to call it: GLORY) THROUGH MIGHTY DEEDS OF FIRE AND SONG.
Through my experience, I’m just probably crying and whining because obviously no one will listen to this and continue their bigoted sexism as was during the Cassmich Incident of 2012 where various douchepricks all sided with the aforementioned doucheprick. Though they may believe that their “friend”(or more appropriately objectified human being) didn’t do the crimes that were redressed by the right, they did it for the most stupidest reasons and in the most embarrassing ways, even revealing it in their posts when a handful of them called her “Cassie”.
Jesus Christ, I need another drink.
The directory proudly reports that this is the most profitable trade run the Company’s had since its founding and another milestone that the Company’s caravan finally has the capacity and or capability to reach Carmi.
The caravan successfully delivered a supply of:
5 Chain Armor Sets
4 Full Iron Swords
1 Enchanted Iron Sword
1 Flash Grenade
In exchange for
12 Health Is
10 Health IIs
1 Golden Apple
After initial AWOL by Irishkaiser(who is being punished accordingly as of the moment), the caravan consisting of Irishkaiser, Totan, fartabstract and Israphel233 disembarked with its goods and started its course in Yawpton where it encountered two chain bandits who were forced to be put down. The company traversed south towards Portsmouth where it met up with Matt486 and ThaAwesomeGurl who offered assistance to the caravan as it made sales in the towns. As the caravan traveled eastwards, there were little to no customers between Portsmouth and Romero. With little amounts of buyers, the original destination of “Huntsgrove” was changed to Romero.
Romero’s shop set-up was disrupted by the presence of two full iron, diamond sword bandits which were spotted by the brave and valiant scouting of Matt486 and were driven out of the town by Company members. The ensuing chaos made the town unsafe for trading and so the Company headed towards the unfamiliar market of Carmi. The caravan set up shop in the market area and leathers flocked to the stalls and bought the remaining merchandise in its inventory.
The Company once again commends Totan for professionalism, fartabstract for tenacious conduct and Matt486 for his valiant services. Punish Irishkaiser that fucktard for delaying the trade run for 24 hours.
For previous demonstration of cunning and knowledge of procedures, the directory has granted user Matt486 the option of becoming a full Company member under whichever group he chooses to be with.
Oh Lawdy, I need to get someone else to write this part.
Wasted Alpha Gameplay with WholeMilk - War milks and war pigs. WholeMilk and his gang go around and light motherfuckers up.
Getting gear and fuckin' bitches - More War Milk.
1v1 with Coldsnid - Lots of blood this week, WholeMilk.
ORDERS FOR THE WEEK:
1) Trade Run finished. Everyone is all on leave.
2) CACTOOSE. WE NEED CACTOOSE.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH.