- HEADLINES: US10 Cake Party
- EDITORIAL “The Thoughts of Carnegie”
- TRADE US Trade Run
- DOMESTIC Thorned Crowns Production Increases
- DOMESTIC Company Looks into Vampyr production
- ORDERS: *
CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.
ASPERMONT, W.L. - In one of the saddest events of the year that is described “a party that can be likened to a reddit meet-up except without qt3.14 redditors”, some however say that it was so bad that it wasn’t just a reddit meetup, but rather a tumblr meetup, the cake party that was described as hosted by a bunch of lonely old men who had nothing but sad things to talk about.
Guy762 also botched his release by not giving a presentation but rather throwing his resource pack product like if Steve Jobs just announced “INTRODUCING THE iPHONE5” then proceeded to toss it to the audience and then left. At least it was good enough to warrant a couple compliments.
Irishkaiser was supposed to give a speech with the Parting Glass played in the background but was like “Fuck it.” and stopped a quarterway while the Parting Glass still played, making it even sadder.
The cakes weren’t finished before the reboot, sadly.
Irishkaiser - Some people know they can stay on top if they want to, some people know they’re more than capable of beating out the competition if they must, however, those people sometimes wonder if they wanna stay on top forever.
A life of always fighting and being constantly bruised really make one question your future of clawing forever.
Blah blah blah, retirement implications blah blah blah
The directory reports that it delivered about:
2 Iron Swords
In value exchange for
2 Health Potions
Trade Run started and ended in a fight with the Eternal Premium. Had to be cut short because they wouldn’t stop chasing us and we were almost late for the cake party.
After demonstrating the effectiveness of the Thorned Crowns breaking an experienced group of premiums' charges and making them run away, the Company orders an increase in Thorned Crown production.
A field test of Vampyrs has sparked an interest in their being mass-produced for members, especially to give our newer members with little combat experience more fighting chance against the usually more experienced premium player so they can last longer.
1) Trade Run completed. SOP.
2) Restore Grey Bow stocks
3) GET ME JESUS HELMET.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH.