- HEADLINES: Pyrrhic Encounter
- EDITORIAL “We are the EPI now. Become what we hate. We are the Big Dogs.”
- TRADE US Trade Run
- DOMESTIC Boonut given iPhone4
- DOMESTIC 93rd Virtues Saved from Disaster, Awarded Colours
- ORDERS: *
CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.
ASPERMONT, W.L. - A Pyrrhic encounter in the Westerlands resulting in twice as many casualties was investigated yesterday chiefly laying the blame on the lack of ready communication and Guy762’s cowardice(this is like the 8th time.
Reports shown that player Sahlgutmir invited one premium and his regular friend within territory and trusted them which proved to be a mistake since he was lagging at the time. Sahlgutmir put up a valiant stand as he took the first hits but managed to hold the attacker off long enough for the possibility of being joined in battle by guy762 to salvage the situation who was in the area at the time - however, in an act of EXTREME DISHONOR TO HIS FAMILY AND THE IMPERIAL MEIJI, the pox-brained pussy bastard logged out and then TOLD SAHLGUTMIR to log off AFTER HE LOGGED OUT - putting Sahlgutmir in a very extreme situation.
Irishkaiser after hearing of this event attempted to coordinate a counter-attack with fresh user ObliviousBob. However the two experienced jumping-lag(not the ping lag that we’re used to fighting in) but failed to notice this as they immediately went for the enemy. The investigation took note of Irishkaiser’s failure to start up a form of communication via RaidCall or Skype and the two attacked using PMs to transmit battlefield data.
It was noted that the enemy(later the two were found out to be cousins) used the same tactics WE USED, the only difference was… They were in a Skype chat and had the edge of battlefield control.
Locked in close-quarters fighting with little room to maneuver, Irishkaiser and ObliviousBob both died killing one assailant in the process. Guy762 was also reported to have been “contemplating” on getting back on while the fight was raging instead of attempting to get back on.
In the confusion of the battle in an attempt to survive - the premium’s cousin fled the field.
When reinforcements arrived to clear the area, guy762 finally logged on AFTER IT WAS DEEMED SECURE.
Good news was - the Company managed to acquire all the battlefield loot and logged off contemplating on what went wrong and how come it took so many losses (3:1) to kill one guy. Guy762 in his greed that selfish fucktard who tries to make himself look good and take all the credit while we bleed and work for our glory, was still looting and looking in his inventory thinking he was safe - was ambushed by the premium’s cousin after ignoring warnings on screen about another player possibly in the area… Who was also reportedly lower geared than him… And was confidently assumed to be much worse in PvP than Guy… In the end, he killed Guy…
Faced with another critical situation because of Guy762 - boonut took the initiative to get on his relatively poorly geared alt and take on Guy’s killer(knowing the risk of not having any splash potions and the fact that guy’s killer was now loaded). The fight ended rather quickly with boonut victorious even though he was ambushed instead and everyone recovered all the stuff and managed to acquire the loot of the dead assailants. The following disaster has been alluded to poor British performance of the Crimea resulting in needless casualties in terms of logistics, communication and failure to support each other in critical moments.
At the end of the battle, Guy asked for his stuff back - which the victors promptly told guy that it was the enemy’s spoils of war that they took from him and now it’s our spoils of war - refusing to give him most of the good stuff for his poor performance, cowardice and selfishness.
Irishkaiser talked with the assailants - though they betrayed they were recognized as having MORE HONOR than guy for not sending a single message of premium aggression(gg rektd bk randy) and did not brag about how many it took to kill them. In fact, they even pointed out how we were jump-lagging and implied that if it would’ve ended rather differently if we weren’t.
Boonut was awarded Hero of the Federation for taking the initiative and exploit opportunities. Unfortunately there were no more medals available so we gave him an old iPhone.
Of the loot, 4 battlesigns were taken from the enemy and various iron armor pieces and swords and potions and other survival tools and stored in our alts. GOOD NEWS… OUR IRON ARMOR STORES ARE NO LONGER DEPLETED :D
Oh and we even got some cake from them too. Nice.
Irishkaiser - It’s been like this for awhile now but ever since weeks after the June Reforms - the UNKNOWN [?] Trading Company has become a “big dog”. Sadly, we are no longer the heroic under dogs and thus we no longer have advantages(and disadvantages) afforded of underdogs.
Many clans have been influenced by us, ARE influenced by us and have copied us in an attempt to imitate the same success, falling short of actually forming a merchant clan themselves… Everything we do from heron out won’t necessarily be seen as proletariat and pro-people - rather, most people would subconsciously place us at the same senior pedestal of clans that had an impact on MineZ like the Clique and we’ll be perceived to have form of elitism and aristocratic tendencies of “if you’re not like us, you can’t be one of us”.
In fact, I think MineZ has become more of “our world” as of late than in the past. You see those fucking emo kids crying about how much they want the shitty past - we see the glorious present and the achievements of today that learned from those horrible horrible years of fire.
We don’t see the community through rose-tinted glasses and I’m proud of that. Our fact-driven and rationally-inclined outlook has allowed us to survive, adapt and thrive and by virtue of natural selection - became successful and serves as a basis for our continued growth: our love of truth… Well.. Not really love… Sometimes we hate the truth… Actually we hate the truth all the time… Our “acceptance” of the truth… THERE WE GO.
We can’t go back to being under dogs now, given our long history - but we can always try to back up the under dogs and we’ll always have our principles and moral values which are pro-players, pro-justice and pro-fairness and if that’s the establishment of MineZ today, then fuck yeah.
Oh and God bless the fact that Glitchy’s gone now. First Beast2X, now Glitchy. The old order is fading away, though there are still some elements of it, even survived by newer players replacing their roles, but by and large, it is being replaced by better people. People less proud, people less asskissing, people less celebrity-centric. HEIL HITLER.
The directory reports that it delivered about:
1 Chain Sets
3 Infinity Bow
3 Iron Swords
In value exchange for
13 Health Potions*
A very slow trade run on US1… Can you believe that? Not even the people on US1 wanted to buy. Guy lagged out and couldn’t log back on(not his fault this time, but his internet’s) while he was carrying half our merchandise and we couldn’t continue the trade run. Oh well. No need to do a make-up trade run. It’s fine… UNLESS YOU PEOPLE WANT TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE LIKE WHAT BOONUT DID.
WE TRAINED YOU TO THINK FOR YOURSELVES AND ACT ON YOUR OWN WHEN THE SITUATION DEMANDS IT…
But it’s fine if you don’t do it.
We ran out of medals
After facing mounting criticism and views of laziness, the 93rd Virtues finally got its shit together and gather extra Grey Brows and Thorned Crowns - oh and kicking some lazy members in the process.
As a result, the 93rd Virtues was awarded its Colours to be presented on our anniversary.
1) Trade Run completed. SOP.
2) Rast chance to acquire Cake.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH