- HEADLINES: White Charity Group Attacked by Premiums
- EDITORIAL “Everyday is an Adventure in the Company”
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US Trade Run
- PvP Drill archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html 9th Mass PvP Event
- DOMESTIC YOU’RE A PREMIUM AND A PREMIUM AND A PREMIUM AND YOU DARE TAKE UP THE BOUNTY? I VOLUNTEER
- DOMESTIC 3rd Video of Arbreton Drill Corruptu
- ORDERS: *
CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.
HUNTSGROVE, S.L.- Mourning and Sadness filled the air this week as 2 premiums assaulted a Christmas charity trip by Oblivious Bob to take regulars up North in MoldZ. The group started in the South and moved to Huntsgrove which was in Premium Territory. One guy waiting for pizza(one of them went AFK for pizza or something, I don’t know) and unfortunately waited too long that a bunch of shady looking premium assholes then proceeded to use their speed potions and assault the group relentlessly, Fubu music playing in the background was reported while this happened which seemed to also drown out Christmas background music.
Ob Nob fought bravely but there were too many for him to handle at the same time and the “little white chilluns” were all killed horribly. The premiums were killed too and they all laughed like baboons in the spawn area.
The Yeomanry later arrived in the area and proceeded to burn every pizza in the village, trying to find retribution where they could not since the premiums were gone by the time they got there.
Irishkaiser - “Only clan with something to do every day” - ObliviousBob. Yeah… I got nothing.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
3 Chain Sets
4 Iron Swords
In exchange for
16 Health Potions
Trade Run started in Portsmouth after the defeat of a bunch of premiums who were killed earlier by the Light Infantry, the two premiums decided to follow us and after being killed a couple times more, asked for a truce which was accepted. Eventually they bought our supplies in Pravus which was a mixed blessing as 4 premiums out of the blue came out of nowhere when we arrived in Grimdale, initially killing Benergy who was not in the Call. The group automatically switched to RaidCall to communicate with Benergy and coordinate. The two premiums who we initially killed fought alongside us against the 4 other premiums who came out of nowhere. The Light Infantry performed gallantly as they frustrated the premiums at every turn. Alucard’s attitude however was noted as “premiumish” and aggressive when we noticed he trashtalked.
The group encountered premiums who used legendaries as well. A slowbow was among them but our regiments armed with Grey bows simply neutralized each other and soundly defeated the premium attacks. Unfortunately, the customers not under our direct control were killed and their stuff had to be taken as to prevent the premiums from gaining any advantage over us. This is also the fight where we met ButterLover67 whose idealism was apparent in her chat messages. After being told to log out to a different server as we could handle the premiums, she replied with:
“I’d rather die with my team than play alone in another server!”
The group proceeded to facepalm collectively and sure enough she was killed and we had to fight harder to regain her stuff.
The Light Infantry were converted into chain warriors and picked up all the stuff. The two premiums who allied with us were reported to have turned on us and were had to be put down as well. Unfazed, the Company simply took their stuff and logged to safety. We have never in recent times before have gotten lit the fuck up and a sort of bittersweet nostalgia was felt during the battle as it was “just like the old days”.
Team BUTTERLOVER RULES:
Round one started in Bandit Camp. Brave and Honourable Captain ButterLover led the team to an epic fight and Irishkaiser was killed then Cereal. Cereal felt greatu humiliation and refused to record afterwards like the bitch he was. He bring great dishonor, especially to CAPTAIN BUTTERLOVER who was fighting against all three and winning until the cliff decided to turn against her! QUEL INJUSTICE! BETRAYED BY NATURE.
The teams switched sides and this time, TEAM BUTTERLOVER RULES became attackers and Team Alucard the Defenders. Team ButterLover followed Butterlover to the ends of the earth only to die in a horrible melee inside the camp with one friendly fire caused by Irishkaiser… Gloriously, of course and bravely.
So brave that volkisch tradition was restored to the rest of the Earth.
Even the friendly fire. Irishkaiser reasoned that it was better to have the honor to kill one of their own number than to let the enemy touch one of us.
Glorious and Immortally Brave and Handsome Captain ButterLover67 saw great potential in Irishkaiser and conferred on him to become Marshal of the Realm(Co-Captain). The Wise and Infalliable ButterLover was proven correct as Irishkaiser led the ButterLover Army against the feared Mexican Army of Alucardo “El Diablo” One-Fivethousando.
After an extended fight in the mountains, Irishkaiser dashingly led an outnumbered charge against the Hijos de Diablos and with the spirit of God, Buddha, Vishnu and even Hitler himself, crushed the non-Aryan army in the pass.
They even got a friendly fire kill on Alucard, who was writhing in pain and begging for mercy for his insolence against the Benevolence of ButterLover67. Sahlgutmir was killed by a prayer-guided grenade filled with the Holy Spirit from Irishkaiser and Cereal finished off Benergy09.
Peace was restored to the land and the honor of the Army of High Civilization was saved. Cereal in his great regret for not recording and doubting the Unbeatable Leadership of ButterLover cried all night because he had no faith and doubted ButterLover. Cereal was sentenced to death for being inferior.
Some asshole called ButterLover67 decided to VOLUNTEER.
1) Trade Run completed. SOP.
2) Next Trade Run is GrindZ
3) Iron Stores are Depleted. Gather more. MoldZ
4) HEADS. GET HEAD. UNZIPS PANTS
THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH