- HEADLINES: GunOverdose Temporary Leave
- EDITORIAL “Shall we download hacks to learn from hackers and combat them?”
- TRADE archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html US MineZ Trade Run
- PvP Drill archive compileNewList.sh data.json head.html links.html output.md tail.html 16th Mass PvP Event - Also Cancelled Again
- DOMESTIC Social Scientist Groundbreaking Theory
- ORDERS: *
CONTENTS : CTRL+F and type in the following if you just want to read a small part of the news.
GUN’S GHETTO, C.L.- Missingyes rises to the challenge.
Irishkaiser - Too much joy. Will fill this out some other time. In the meantime: discuss.
The Directory proudly announces that it has delivered
1 Iron Armor Set
1 Chain Set
2 Iron Swords
In value exchange for
14 Health Potions
Trade Run conducted by Sahlgutmir, with great improvements and coordination save for Cereal. The group started off their trades in Grimdale with Irishkaiser playing as a laggy scout who caused the trade run to be delayed because he overslept. At once when the caravan reached Grimdale they were forced to retreat due to 2 premiums who predictably would not stop. The group waited for Irishkaiser’s signal who encountered a PM bug in which Private Messages could not be sent nor could they be received which delayed the group who took the time to drill formations. Cereal in his stupid premium state could not follow simple orders and shat his pants while making yelping noises like some mentally challenged child, but that’s OK - he managed to focus later on.
It took the group a little while to move with Sahlgutmir as leader, too. They’d be falling back but Guy(TYPICAL) would be barking orders or Cereal might, trying to say theirs over his. Then they’d split a tad and he’d have to tell them to reform on Sahlgutmir because he was leading and they needed to move as a unit but once it sank in it was fine. The march to Portsmouth was slow because of Cereal shitting himself again in a Banana Wedge Formation, but once there, the group encountered another premium group within 5 minutes of arriving. Forced to retreat again as the premiums were CONSTANTLY ON THE PROWL. The group counter-marched back to Grimdale and sold their first set - an iron armor set.
During the trading at Grimdale a hacker came up on the group and assaulted them but was banned shortly after. He tried again in a second account and taunted the group as he assaulted them. Due to TACTICAL SECRECY as to what caused the group to maintain cohesion it will remain a secret. Le Directoire' warns we can’t rely on the administration to be there ALL the time so every trade run the fastest typer must be assigned to report the hacker as soon as it is made clear while the rest prepare to hold him or run away.
Also, somewhere along the hacker attacks more premiums came and attacked our customers. Commando0301 kept accusing Sahlgutmir of killing him, in stupid attempt at getting the caravan to kill a member of their own. The group just ignored him because this premium isn’t really smart.
A hacker came along and killed Ben whose stuff was scattered on the ground and swiped by Commando. The Directory would like to remind Sahlgutmir of keeping his eyes open for possibilities but would not like to expound on them on this newspaper for obvious reasons. The hacker returned and the group proceeded to execute a maneuver to reduce the hacker’s damage but was banned after minimal contact.
There was a good guy though… He shall not be named in this newspaper, but he was a GOOD GUY. He knows who he is and we’d like to thank GOOD GUY. Thank you, Good Guy.
Anyway, getting sick of Commando’s obvious shit, the group ambushed his gold friend but failed to kill him, instead scaring him off.
The group traveled some more and met up with Skim who boosted the scouts from useless Irishkaiser who was lagging so bad he lost multiple fights to fucking newbies. Skim performed well and cut down premium assaults before the heavy infantry came in. Two premiums SPEED POTTED LIKE LITTLE BITCHES AND THE CARAVAN LANDED TWO DIRECT GREY BOW HITS IN A VERY SATISFYING MOMENT OF WHITE JUSTICE TO THE MUSIC OF “LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR” IN THE BACKGROUND. GOD I HATE PREMIUMS SO GODDAMN MUCH.
Cereal - after multiple encounters and fights with a lot of premiums, had his armor breaking and gave them to someone else, becoming our third scout. Or second… Because Irishkaiser was useless. The group moved around all over the South before it was getting late and they were forced to call off the trade run, but morale was high as the group braved multiple premium encounters from Camp Bell, Portsmouth and Romero where they encountered a clan. But the fighting spirit of the Regiments and their determination won them through
Good Guy bought a chain set and iron sword as well. However, after taking multiple batterings from MORE HACKERS AND PREMIUMS and the fact that it was getting late, the trade run was declared over and everyone returned back.
The Directory has decided to confer a Battle Honour on the 1st of March, not yet deciding what to call it.
Too much feel good.
Everyone heard of the term “GG”. But what if… It’s not “Good Game”… What if, according to professor guy762 of the University of Hitler Did Nothing Wrong, it means “GIT GUD”.
This groundbreaking discovery could finally piece together the puzzle of premium communication and shitty culture of a society of a retards in revolt who just can’t accept anything given to them. Premiums of the University of Hitler Did Nothing Wrong proceeded to protest shouting slogans of “DAS RAYCIS!” and “gibs me dat”.
1) Trade Run completed. SOP.
^THE ^[?] ^EMPIRE, ^THE ^COMPANY’S ^OFFICIAL ^NEWS ^SOURCE ^AND ^PROPAGANDA ^TOOL. ^AW ^YEAH